It takes a lot to sound stoned in a land like Hyrule.
Posted by Shawn Handyside on March 13, 2013 · 11:01 AM |
Categories: Drugs & Alcohol, GameCube, Here There Be Dragons, Highly Illogical Captain, Nintendo, The Legend of Zelda · Leave a comment () 80 Comments |
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You know you're stoned when you can't tell the difference between a talking lion boat and a talking dragon boat.
http://objection.mrdictionary.net/go.php?n=652782…
Shawn needs to stop smoking the forums
Doesn't help that he thinks a pirate can be a princess and the evil pig wizard turns into puppets.
Quick! Now's my excuse to post this unrelated Wind Waker pic:
<img src="http://i.imgur.com/P99Ca.jpg" width="490">
In a land where disco dances control time and middle-aged men pretend to be fairies and employ slave labor, pretty much anything goes.
Shut up Link. I'm busy watching a Bird/Garuda Man offer food to this fire-breathing dragon with his rear stuck in the mountain. He'd better watch out for the black hulking pig on hind legs with a spear.
Dude…
that weed…
that weed is the bomb…
There's also like an island with a giant talking tree who made me go to an island with thorns to save a violin playing seed.
I flew there on a magical leaf.
"HIGHly Illogical Captain"
HAH!
Gimme a "W"!
On a similar note,
<img src="https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTi2UQZMW-zT8XAY4QqBWxg930UqCN_BkRFAdpXfHAnFpxTt14FbQ" /img>
Dude, you have to watch out for that coral reefer!
Shappap Link, I'm busy being a Wolf, meow meow
If you think about it, most of Nintendo's games can be taken wrong if you smoke enough weed.
Star Fox: "Animals in space ships, killing each other"
Mario: "Plumber who fights turtles that breath fire and shit"
Any thing else?
Shawn
Pope Francis I
Pope Francis jokes
So many Francis jokes
"Odi gradibus"
How dare you! The Zora are a proud people that have been trying to remove the seaweed stigma for decades! How's life all the way back in the Skyward Sword timeline?
Hey, man, if you think that was hard to believe, you should listen to the story about the last underwater castle that I was in. Thing looked like a freaked-out Jack-O-Lantern, complete with torches that, despite being partially submerged by water, and are guarded by these slightly racist and nightmarish creature designs called "Zoras", one of which, to this day, tries to entice me with marriage and sex. Spiked balls and blades kept hovering and chasing after me, the dead rose from their graves and shoved me down swirling vortexes of doom, and the wildlife, as though it were suddenly possessed by a demonic fervor, relentlessly hunted me for some strange, perverted kick. Plus, there was this painfully bright blue fairy that continued to blind me with its natural light as well as deafen me with its constant chatter, that, for some reason, only I could hear. Felt like hours before I finally got out of there, plus I think that I died and came back to life a couple times.
All kinds of drug references could be made about the Zelda series.
The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Meth
The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Dime-Bag
The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Crack
And my personal favorite, Tingle's Rosy Roofieland.
Followed by the always-horrifying Link's Awakening…
The marijuana addiction plagued his adulthood.
<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lrogve5B5E1qkjweco1_400.jpg" alt="Pot" width="339" height="339">