Friday, April 25, 2025


A problem of portals in real life...

Insane scientific testing calls for insane scientific protective gear! Those boots literally work like magic! Also after playing Portal 2 for a bit, I couldn’t help but  wonder what keeps Chell’s head from getting bashed open when she slams into the ceiling using an “aerial faith plate” over and over. Oh well just another one of life’s mysteries I guess!
By rjbman

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Posted by Shawn Handyside on April 19, 2011 · 8:51 AM 
FAILLAMENOT BADPRETTY GOODAWESOME (221 votes, average: 2.88 out of 5)
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Categories:
Portal, Science/Math, Valve Software

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Isn't the problem with portals in real life the part about the fucking portals in real life?
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13 replies · active 731 weeks ago
What?!? A mechanic in a video game may not be scientifically plausible????
EVERYTHING I KNOW IS A LIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!
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4 replies · active 731 weeks ago
But there's nothing that can stop your organs from coming out of your ass
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2 replies · active 731 weeks ago
"Science is just another word for magic."
-StrongBad
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3 replies · active 731 weeks ago
There's an app a boot for that.
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"But yeah, there's boots that will be able to take that stress."

There we go, problem solved. Screw logic, I have utility footwear. *Leans backwards; falls out of an airplane*
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Well, the answer is obvious. We need to jump into infinite portals with a parachute.
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Here at Aperture Science, we would like to point out that we laugh at the face of Physics, as we were studying how to build quantum space holes during college. This petty little argument, might I add, has already been made moot due to the fact that we've tried the boots! Guaranteed!

Suck it.

Kindly,
Aperture Science
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4 replies · active 731 weeks ago
YOU DARE BRING LOGIC INTO MY LAIR?!
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1 reply · active 730 weeks ago
Wow... three uploads in one day?
Hmmmm.......
WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO SHAWN?!?
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F***ing Portals...how do they work?
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I always wondered why A.S. didn't just hook up a set of portals to a hamster wheel, toss a ton of sand into free-fall, and dominate the market for perpetual energy.
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2 replies · active 731 weeks ago
Oh, I see. You think you are so smart with you're terminal velocity and air resistance. Well, if you're so smart explain fucking magnets!
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Problems gravity?
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Just wear your Gunboats, you namby-pamby lab boy.
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theres only fall damage, no velocity damage... i like halo reach's use of velocity damage.
speed up fast enough with in monitor mode and turn back into a spartan and you will splatter yourself against a wall, ceiling, floor, whatever :D

so much for that technically advanced suit of armor when a pair of fancy shoes can do better
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Wait, so would every human have to wear these boots?

...what has been seen cannot be unseen.
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Those boots don't fix the fact that sometimes when I fly out of portals, I SLAM MY FUCKING HEAD INTO A CEILING.

What, did GLaDOS fit us with an invisible helmet or something?
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Because bent sticks of plastic and Apple's new Iboot make you invincible
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Boots! Don't worry, valve's got everything covered...
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Someone doesn't understand the concept of relative inertia.
When you shot the other portal to go a direction, your direction doesn't change relative to you, it changes relative to your surroundings. You're still moving along the same path, it's just been redirected.
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ok theres more than one problem with portals they defy the most basic laws of physics

imagine the following scenario:

[IMG ]http://i55.tinypic.com/28srfhx.jpg[/IMG]

here we have the test subject trapped in the classic infinite fall portal arrangement, now imagine that in common troll physics fashion, we attach a generator to the test subject, we would have, thats right, INFINITE POWER (u jelly power companies?)

[IMG ]http://i51.tinypic.com/30clt93.jpg[/IMG]

according to the law of conservation of energy this scenario is impossible since energy cannot be CREATED or destroyed

looking back into the infinite fall portal arrangement, the test subject shouldnt even be able to fall at all

to ilustrate this think of that portal arrangement as some sort of tunnel

[IMG ]http://i51.tinypic.com/fclhex.jpg[/IMG]

now as you may know gravity, the force behind the test subject's falling is natural phenomenon by which physical bodies attract with a force proportional to their mass, according to Newton's law of universal gravitation, that force is equal to:

[img ]http://upload.wikimedia.org/math/0/f/3/0f36df929ac9d711a8ba8c5658c3bfee.png[/img]

this means that there are 2 objects in this scenario, 1 of then is the test subject and the other is an object of great mass (enough to mimic earth's mass) at the end of the "tunnel", BUT WAIT the tunnel is INFINITE, which means that even if such 2nd object exists its mass must be also infinite in order to be able to have ANY effect on the test subject, such thing doesnt exist and the area between both portals is devoid of gravity

but the test subject wouldnt just float in between both portals he/she wouldnt be attracted the center of the object with the bigger mass in this scenario, the earth, he/she will be attracted to the area AROUND the portal

[IMG ]http://i54.tinypic.com/w1v0y.jpg[/IMG]

also that image is not funny
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The obvious answer is that Chell is secretly a cartoon character. Laws of Physics only apply to her when convenient.
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I would imagine that would be like stepping on a grav panel in Dead Space 2
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