Aperture Science would like to remind you that while your beats may be mad fresh, rapping within the testing area is strictly prohibited and may result in busted rhymes.
By Dorkly, submitted by several people!

[VIDEO] Wish I Had a Portal Gun (Aperture Science Rap)

Posted by Shawn Handyside on July 26, 2011 · 7:47 PM

(280 votes, average: 4.63 out of 5)

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Categories:
Adult Situations, Balls of Steel, Chillaxin', Half-Life, Musical, Off Duty, Party Time, Portal, Science/Math, Smashy Smashy, Sneak Attack, Tips & Tricks, Valve Software, Video Clips

· Leave a comment (53 Comments)

987153 Responses2011-07-26+23%3A47%3A47Shawn+Handyside to “[VIDEO] Wish I Had a Portal Gun (Aperture Science Rap)”

Random_Man on July 26th, 2011 7:51 pm

Then he breaks his legs because he forgot to get the boots…

Oops, not funny, sorry.
Not_anon on July 26th, 2011 7:53 pm

I don't know about you guys, but i'd wish for some boots with the Portal gun to avoid injury.
mikeorike on July 26th, 2011 7:59 pm

Next Album: I'm In Space feat. GLaDOS & Lil Wheatley
VyseRogueKing on July 26th, 2011 8:27 pm

I've had many a conversation about wishing for portal guns. They typically end in a similar fashion to this song… I have some weird friends.
Ovahdrive on July 26th, 2011 7:47 pm

Science bitches!
<img src="http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g278/Ovahdrive/Science-bitches.png">
LOLCUNO on July 26th, 2011 8:53 pm

NOW YOU'RE COMING WITH SCIENCE
therandombear on July 26th, 2011 9:01 pm

But…having a portal gun wouldn't help…the surface you place the portals on have to be painted with ground up moon rock D:
TheInsaneWombat on July 26th, 2011 9:32 pm

Really? You wish you had a portal gun? I wish I had Atlas and his portal gun. Then I'd get a portal gun and an awesome robot.
razorman715 on July 26th, 2011 9:41 pm

Oh look, my 200th comment.

"Aperature science halolz comment test completed.

Prepare to be incinera- I mean thumbed down.

Aperature science keyboard devices can stand up to -9000 epeen, kelvin.

Oh wait, it can't. Goodbye."
bravobuster on July 26th, 2011 10:02 pm

I thought the initial autofellatio subversion was hilarious… and then it came back around and slapped us right in the face with it. Well done, sirs. Well done.
HoopleDoople on July 26th, 2011 10:08 pm

If you get your hands on a Portal Gun and you still have to suck your own dick, you're really doing it wrong.

Just wanted to put that out there.
Skrist on July 26th, 2011 10:39 pm

Is somebody doing science in here?
madhatter0082 on July 26th, 2011 10:39 pm

I have to admit, that ending.. I didn't see it… coming.

…no, seriously, I though they weren't gonna go there…
Wetmang on July 26th, 2011 11:40 pm

Is it just me or did anyone else see the Scout singing this whole thing?
ChemicalKirby on July 27th, 2011 1:09 am

The average life spawn of people who own portal guns is one week, FACT
MoG on July 27th, 2011 1:33 am

What would i do with a portal gun?

Simple. Place the other portal in a cake shop an the other on the moon.

…..because i didn't get cake…. no one gets cake…
PortalMan118 on July 27th, 2011 4:28 am

And now it's time to Free Style with Freeman!

Freeman: ……

Me: Thanks alot buddy…
Ice_Cold_Water on July 27th, 2011 2:58 pm

If I had a Portal gun, I would be dead in a matter of seconds trying to reach terminal velocity… *Weeee! (splat)*
Rap guy on August 26th, 2011 8:49 am

ALSO I’D SUCK MY OWN DIIIIIICK!!!