If only more guards followed this advice, they could have had far longer adventuring careers!
By Adriano Alves [via Rampaged Reality]
Posted by Shawn Handyside on December 29, 2011 · 3:17 PM |
Categories: Bethesda, Political, The Elder Scrolls, Tips & Tricks, Weak Points · Leave a comment () 67 Comments |
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Skyrim, inventor of the knee bling
Dammit! I'm once again foiled by the fact I haven't played Skyrim. Now I can make no witty comment. Well atleast I'm not making an arrow to the knee joke.
But then he got they got an arrow in the other knee….
this joke stopped being funny a while ago.
Wait wait wait. REMOVE the arrow?!
This changes everything!
Ok, what kind of arrow is it?
If it's a target arrow, get a bit to bite down on and have someone else pull it out with a vice or pliers/smithing tongs.
If it's a broadhead, cut the fletchings and push it through (do not do this if it's near any major arteries or organs)
If it's a barbed arrow grab a knife and remove the bit of flesh it's in.
If it's a frog crotch arrow, then remove the damned limb.
If it's any of the above and poisoned then don't bother, you'll be dead shortly anyways.
"Remove the arrow from your knee" is the most useless medical advice ever. Removing a long sharp object from your extremities is painful (removing a sharp object lodged in you is infinitely more traumatic than having it put there), and now it's not keeping most of your blood in you.
I can speak from personal experience on this, which is why I can't bring myself to find it funny.
Hah! By the Nine, it's so obvious now! I can't believe I never thought of that before! Man, this is a real knee-slapp--AUGH FUCK!!
Unfortunately the guards of Skyrim can't read.
Also some of them get nervous when I start shouting Lydia across town.
Keep calm? You mean…
<img src='http://www.themoderndaypirates.com/pirates/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/dontpanic-front.jpg'>
I just thought of something: If an arrow to the knee is a crippling enough wound to make you give up an adventuring career, then why in all of Skyrim did they choose to take up the career of a guard?
Aren't guards expected to do things like patrol and give chase to criminals? 'Cause those seem like the kind of things you'd want healthy legs for.
*Dons -1 glasses*
Here we go….
Will it help their adventuring? I think not. As the saying goes:
"Time heals all wounds"
"But arrow-related knee injuries cripple you for life "
I got Skyrim a couple days ago. I've heard this line from the guards around 20 times. On the Internet though, 200…
But…. it was a Rambo arrow, so far I've only managed to find little charred pieces of my left leg….
crap, it's stuck. I need help. MEDIC.
Keep Calm and Drink a fucking healing potion.
That shit is everywhere.
Healing here, healing there,
HEALING EVERYWHERE!
Overused arrow + knee meme, but still its
<img src="http://i1182.photobucket.com/albums/x448/FluffyQuacker/notbad.jpg" alt="Photobucket" border="0">
wait…. I took an arrow to the knee too?
THAT explains the horrible pain and the infection in my knee….
…………………..
why is the "political" tag there?
wait
i thought when the arrow's in your knee, its over
you can just take it out and keep going?
That's great and all but what about this guy?
<img src="http://img13.imageshack.us/img13/9956/chestn.jpg">
I wish he hadn't said it when he was completely in shadow :(
This sign should be all over skyrim by now……
<img src="http://img403.imageshack.us/img403/4673/calmz.jpg">