<a href="http://www.halolz.com/2011/12/25/randolph-the-red-nosed-turret/" rel="bookmark">Randolph the Red Nosed Turret

1 reply · active 694 weeks ago

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Fearow 77p · 694 weeks ago

Dammit, I was going to do that xD +1 to you good sir!

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The Pualrus 100p · 694 weeks ago

"I'm different..."

And so, the turret was saved from redemption by a mysterious benefactor and set off to fulfill a very important role.

Happy non-denominational holiday, everyone.

10 replies · active 694 weeks ago

Discord 92p · 694 weeks ago

Christmas is a Christian holiday.

I do believe you mean Happy non-denominational holidayS. May the enemies of the spelling/grammar Nazis set my head upon the guillotine.

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Leo E. 114p · 694 weeks ago

Discord seems like the LAST person I'd expect to be a stickler for grammar...

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Discord 92p · 694 weeks ago

If asserting order causes chaos and dissent...

Deep Thought 105p · 694 weeks ago

Really? For maximized chaos and anarchy, I would have brought up Saturnalia.

Because, the Romans totally kicked ass.

Discord 92p · 694 weeks ago

Something tells me that that holiday would be lost on most people. Even though the Romans did totally kick ass...

But Sun Tzu learned well from me. I remember when he inadvertently made it to ponyville and saw me trapped in stone. I taught him so much about chaos that he became the best general in the world.

Now I just coach people on TF2 how to be better at owning noobs.

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Caelun_Niveus 96p · 694 weeks ago

Order is the absence of chaos, and so to achieve order you must first know what it is you must remove.

It's the other way around, Chaos is the absence of concrete order. Introducing order can propagate chaos if you all you do is engineer more imbalances.

We tend to think of Chaos as lacking rules, but rules are actually what make Chaos possible.

The fewer restrictions exist, the more easily order can happen naturally.

It's because something exists that there can be an insufficient amount of it (causing chaos). It seems paradoxical, but it really isn't.

The more specifications and qualities you have to account for, the harder it is to impose order. In other words, in consensual reality order defeats itself.

To summarize, you require additional pylons.

TheTopHatKid 88p · 694 weeks ago

Then you must ASSERT! Sun Tzu said that.

Spencer 119p · 694 weeks ago

Must be the monocle and the pipe.

The Pualrus 100p · 694 weeks ago

Actually, GLaDOS referred to it as "one foggy non-denominational holiday". I was just parroting her in that last line. I totally celebrate Christmas, and I do believe I wished everyone a Merry Christmas in the last submission's comments. So, I decided to say something different yet relevant. No point in repeating myself, is there? Oh ho ho!

On a separate but related note: I totally think Aperture should set up a specific holiday called "non-denominational holiday." You know: just to screw with everyone.

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NotB0b 91p · 694 weeks ago

Lies, That Santa was a spy. The real one has already portaled away and is in Test Chamber 19!

2 replies · active 694 weeks ago

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Vosur 92p · 694 weeks ago

Any moment now, he'll turn into a thin French guy in a ski-mask... any moment now...

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knick-knack 90p · 694 weeks ago

See! Painted Camera Bea- wait...nope, that's real...

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LiquidMountain 87p · 694 weeks ago

Hey, GLaDOS has Wheatley plugged into her.Therefore, the moral of the story is, if you're different, only somebody with significantly dampened intelligence will accept you.

Also...O MY GOD LOOK AT THE NAMES ON THE STOCKINGS! Gordon, Alyx and D0G.

What's more, there is a plush boomer under the tree and the baubles are sticky bombs. Do I get the award for easter-egg hunting yet?

3 replies · active 694 weeks ago

TheSpaceCore 89p · 694 weeks ago

No. We still have several months before you get THAT award.

LiquidMountain 87p · 694 weeks ago

ALL THE TURRETS LOOK almost LIKE EGGS WITH LEGS AND I FOUND THEM ALL. Now?

Alpwan 101p · 694 weeks ago

Also, the painting reminds me a lot of the scenery at the end of a certain portal related puzzle game, which is the second game in the series.

Or is it just me?

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deleted801691 109p · 694 weeks ago

I think Aperture are the only ones who can set a place on fire and kill a jolly fat guy in red and get away with it.

3 replies · active 694 weeks ago

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Fluffy_Quack3r 93p · 694 weeks ago

BLU Pyro killing a RED Heavy?

deleted801691 109p · 694 weeks ago

I said JOLLY fat guy not deranged fat guy.

The man owns a factory for bootleg toys, and compulsively makes a once a year pilgrimage around the world to break into people's houses and distribute said bootleg toys. If anyone doesn't meet his moral standards he gives them a brick of coal(a valuable non-renewable resource) instead.

He accepts tithes of sweets and dairy for his work, and he has everyone under constant surveillance.
I'm 95% certain the Pygmy colony he owns doesn't make any wages and is also responsible for mining the coal.

He's also probably up to his gills in Valium 24/7, because the only other way for him to be that chronically jolly would be for him to be insane.

That is WAY less deranged than a man who wishes to marry his wide bore mini-gun. *sarcasm*

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CriticalQuit 93p · 694 weeks ago

Randolph's nose is actually the Aperture Laser Infrared-Enhancing Nasal Sensor.

2 replies · active 694 weeks ago

EliminatorZigma 108p · 694 weeks ago

I don't know if it was intentional, but the name's acronym is ALIENS.

+1 to you either way.

CriticalQuit 93p · 694 weeks ago

Significant? No.

Intentional? YES.

GanjalfTheGreen 103p · 694 weeks ago

So Santa already got burned, exiled to China and shot. And Christmas aren't over yet!

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Spencer 119p · 694 weeks ago

Why is it that every fanmade Valve Christmas comic ends with Santa dying?

5 replies · active 694 weeks ago

LiquidMountain 87p · 694 weeks ago

This one was made by Valve itself.

The Pualrus 100p · 694 weeks ago

Because Santa works for Black Mesa?

Wetmang 95p · 694 weeks ago

If you look closely you can see the teeth of the headcrab under santa's cap.

MasterLuigi452 108p · 694 weeks ago

Maybe they just have dark sense of humour?
That's my guess.

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Jimmy (ケンタ Kenta) 113p · 694 weeks ago

I don't know, but I figure that Chell would have asked for a way out of Apeture Laboratories for Christmas so...GlaDos sought to ensure that even if she was a good girl all year, she'd never get her gift...even if that meant that all the children of the world would never get their presents...ever again.

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PortalMan 86p · 694 weeks ago

I can only imagine what would happen if it was Wheatly instead of Randolph.

Zeleas 73p · 694 weeks ago

WHAT HAS SCIENCE DONE!!!!!!!!

QQ

Turret: *I don't blame you*

3 replies · active 694 weeks ago

0 Vote up Vote down

It's okay, the Turret is probably going to get a medal or other award for killing a notorious terrorist.

Don't believe me?

Make a detailed description of Santa Clause and his profession without using ANY words that relate to Christmas.
Then cross reference that with the common US stereotype of terrorists.

Zeleas 73p · 694 weeks ago

An old man in a red suit with a large white beard and jolly nature? Yeah, such a terrorist.

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No, a man with a beard and a strange hat who carries a list of "good" and "bad" people dropping payloads down people's chimneys.

PyroCatheter 96p · 694 weeks ago

Look closely at the stockings on page three...

DiamyoAlex 92p · 694 weeks ago

Merry Christma-ACH!
....
Are you still there?

CosmicSkyscrapa 80p · 694 weeks ago

See? Just because somebody's different doesn't mean they are lesser than your.

Zekeon 63p · 694 weeks ago

I hear this sung in Brentalfloss' voice for some reason..

1 reply · active 694 weeks ago

Funny, I think in realistic imagery....

I SAW a brentalfloss video of this in my head.

Alpwan 101p · 694 weeks ago

Wait...
Aperture Science Sentry Turrets, with laser eyes/guns?
I'll buy fifty!

1 reply · active 694 weeks ago

And then I'll put party hats on them and make them attend a surprise party for a kid's 14th birthday (the party will be a day BEFORE his birthday).

Drjolt 74p · 694 weeks ago

Is that why i heard a bunch of gunfire and someone falling down last night?

1 reply · active 694 weeks ago

Probably not. Holiday shootings are pretty common past-time among the mongoloid inbreds who live below the Bible Belt(or Bible Bolo-Tie, given that it's migrated north.)

From your perspective the likely-hood of it actually being Santa are pretty slim.

The odds are roughly [1 in ((regional population/2)+ local population - 1)]

This of course, is a roundabout way of saying it was probably someone mugging your grandma.

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blueroseleader 2p · 675 weeks ago

Y U Call Christmas A Non-Denominational Holiday XD