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The Soldier’s so cool, he doesn’t even need to look at all those explosions!
By , submitted by Zach H.

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Posted by Shawn Handyside on August 29, 2012 · 12:04 PM 
FAILLAMENOT BADPRETTY GOODAWESOME (212 votes, average: 4.70 out of 5)
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Categories:
Aerial Maneuvers, Explosives, Failure, Heavy Weapons, Massive Damage, Movies, Overkill, PC, Playstation, Team Fortress 2, Valve Software, Video Clips, Xbox 360

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Unnecessary slow-mo check. Sophomoric humor, check. Explosions, quintuple check. Now all we need to do is set the pyro's origins as an alien and we'll have covered all the bases.

Oh and we'll need a love plot. One with a protagonist that is basically there to get the story from point a to point b with a woman that is basically there for fanservice providing very little if any help along with heaping amounts of sexual tension. I propose Scout and Miss Pauling though Miss Pauling is really playing against type here.
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12 replies · active 658 weeks ago
But... Linkin' Park isn't blaring in the background. Something here seems suspicious...
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6 replies · active 658 weeks ago
I think Meet the Demoman would fit Michael Bay better, honestly.
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4 replies · active 658 weeks ago
MA-BA-SPLOO *cheap explosion sounds*


On a side not, I'M FINALLY 100 E-PEEN GUYS! I HAVE REACHED 3 DIGIT NIRVANA, now part two of "Take Over the World Through Some Convoluted Internet Ranking System Plan" can commence!
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4 replies · active 658 weeks ago
Meh, Michael Bay's Super Mario 64 was loads better.
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Now watch as middle schoolers from all over the world gather to play this game and tell us how it's the best thing ever made.

Oh but of course like Vyse says, boobs/pretentious love interest is needed.

Way more camera shaking as well.
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16 replies · active 658 weeks ago
Somewhat relevant.
(Excuse my poor editing and translating skills.)
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Not nearly enough explos- *power goes out due to Isaac*
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3 replies · active 658 weeks ago
Where are the chicks on motorcycles? Also needs more racism.
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1 reply · active 658 weeks ago
Needs more explosions!
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So... Where are the aliens?
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Hey look it's footage from when the Beggar's Bazooka was released.
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The one thing it could have used is more shaky action camera.

Michael Bay's directing philosophy is that eight bucks isn't enough ticket money to warrant you being able to understand what's happening on the screen.
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Don't forget his two sequels: Respawn of the Fallen and Dark Side of the Boom.
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I'm sure Shawn is having a blast since the explosion of SFM videos gave him a prime amount of things to post.
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I guess we can say that trailer
*Puts on glasses*
was explosive.



(getting ready for more csi puns.)
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4 replies · active 658 weeks ago
Funny thing is, this is actually a relatively accurate representation of how TF2 is like today.

inb4 except it needs hats.
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Now where's the part where we stop for weird conversations about people being on drugs or suspiciously focusing on someone's hobby way too much for about ten minutes each?
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Although if this was a movie I'd still watch it :D
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Oh my gosh.
Does anyone have a spare pair of sides?
I need some new ones.
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1 reply · active 659 weeks ago
Megan Fox was suppose to be in this....but she called Bay Hitler.
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1 reply · active 658 weeks ago
In the immortal words of LittleKuriboh as Mr. Burns as Gendo Ikari (on the topic of explosions): "that was the sound of Michael bay having an orgasm."
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If this is a Michael Bay movie then why isn't the Demo-man depicted as an overtly racist stereotype who shouts all the time to supply "comic relief"?
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Actually, gotta say that I may even like this even more than the original!
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I love how the soldier is shaking and his eyes are going crazy like he's messed up on meth or something.
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