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I’m sorry sir, but shoving leaves down your pants does not make you a flying raccoon.
By Andre-Guy Landry [Brainslug]

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SUPER MARIO BROS. THE ‘MORE LIKELY’ UNTOLD STORY

Posted by Shawn Handyside on May 23, 2012 · 11:52 PM

FAIL

LAME

NOT BAD

PRETTY GOOD

AWESOME

(170 votes, average: 3.48 out of 5)

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Categories:
Artistic, Drugs & Alcohol, In My Pants, Nintendo, Power-Ups, Sequential Art, Super Mario Bros

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+70 Vote up Vote down

Hyze 107p · 675 weeks ago

In the sequel we learn about Mario's mentally deranged brother who lives in the asylum, or his "mansion" as he likes to call it. Every so often he gets ahold of the janitor's vacuum and starts chasing the people in white lab coats around calling them "boos".

Reply

7 replies · active 675 weeks ago

+22 Vote up Vote down

deleted801691 109p · 675 weeks ago

Wait until you hear the story of his cousin who thinks he's a world class treasure hunter.

Reply

+20 Vote up Vote down

Deep Thought 105p · 675 weeks ago

Obviously Wario's just an entrepreneur, and the only successful child (other than Giuseppe) of the Mario Bros. family. Can't you tell that he's only the bad guy because he won't share his vast wealth?

Reply

+20 Vote up Vote down

Discord 92p · 675 weeks ago

Enough talk.

WALUIGI TIME.

Reply

+5 Vote up Vote down

Prof. Luigi 100p · 675 weeks ago

The only sane person in the mario family.

Reply

+19 Vote up Vote down

MasqueNoMercy 96p · 675 weeks ago

don't forget the uncle who just became a janitor

Reply

+12 Vote up Vote down

VT_Juju_Man 115p · 675 weeks ago

Reply

+6 Vote up Vote down

IncredulousEric 99p · 675 weeks ago

Yes Weegee, look back to the time when your knowledge of random facts around the world allowed you to save your brother. At least that was the story you have told your doctors, the police report has tells a much different tale. Your "rescue mission" had you trespassing at historical locations on every continent.

Reply

+62 Vote up Vote down

MeatyMcSausage 104p · 675 weeks ago

OK, I don't want to be that guy, but let's face it, mario eating shrooms and getting high is seriously one of the oldest video game jokes, it's been on tv, in stand up comedy routines, and this comic just does nothing with it. I know the halolz comments section is a place for bad puns and unnecessarily long yet incredible stories and such, but I feel that this is worth saying.

Now I'll just slip this here and hide behind my downvote shields...

Reply

4 replies · active 675 weeks ago

+28 Vote up Vote down

SushiGummy 110p · 675 weeks ago

WAIT WAIT

Have you heard the one about Peach only being kidnapped by Bowser because she's secretly having an affair with him?
Or the one where the enemies decide that walking off edges isn't a good strategy, and end up killing Mario with a better plan, like shooting him or just having everybody go after him at once?
Or the one where Mario goes into a pipe and gets covered with fecal matter?
Or the one where Peach leads Mario on, only to give him cake?
Or the one where Mario screws Yoshi over to reach the next platform?
Or the one where Mario decides to stop saving Peach because she gets kidnapped so often?
Or the one where Peach sends a letter promising cake, but it ends up being a trap from GLaDOS?
Or the one where Mario hurts his head because he smashed it against a brick block?
Or the one where Bowser decides to make an impossible-to-cross pit?
Or the one where Mario gets annoyed by a Toad who says "Sorry Mario but your princess is in another castle?"
Or the one where the Mushroom Kingdom has no police enforcement and have to rely on a plumber to save their princess?
Or the one where Mario dreamed up the Mushroom Kingdom because he's insane?

Because I've totally never seen any jokes like that.

Reply

+45 Vote up Vote down

spaghettiweegee 101p · 675 weeks ago

Reply

+7 Vote up Vote down

Zyquux 103p · 675 weeks ago

The actual comic of hat one was pretty good too. That's why I like BitF, he tends to give a new spin to what some might see as an old joke.

Reply

+3 Vote up Vote down

SushiGummy 110p · 675 weeks ago

It's not really the same joke, though. It may have an impassable pit, but the impassable pit itself is the setup, not the punchline. The punchline is Mario climbing over his own dead bodies to pass it.

But yeah, Brawl in the Family is awesome.

Reply

+38 Vote up Vote down

spaghettiweegee 101p · 675 weeks ago

Good thing I've been training for writing a funny comment on this kind of joke!

*tenses up body*

IF MARIO EVER WANTED TO GET HIGH

COULDN'T HE JUST CLIMB A VINE GROWING OUT OF A BRICK?

Reply

2 replies · active 675 weeks ago

+19 Vote up Vote down

Skarge 93p · 675 weeks ago

Beauftiful! :')

Reply

+10 Vote up Vote down

poonstev 103p · 675 weeks ago

It's so wonderful..

Reply

+23 Vote up Vote down

TheTaurenRogue 109p · 675 weeks ago

Diving into toilets and plumbing for drugs seems fairly legit...

This one leads to the underwater level!

Reply

6 replies · active 675 weeks ago

+11 Vote up Vote down

MasterLuigi452 108p · 675 weeks ago

As I watch this gif, I cannot help myself remembering the gasoline toilet trap from Home Alone 2...

Reply

+26 Vote up Vote down

TheTaurenRogue 109p · 675 weeks ago

Poor Joe pesci :3
Little sad more people didn't get the Trainspotting reference :p

Reply

+13 Vote up Vote down

MasterLuigi452 108p · 675 weeks ago

I love you for finding this gif. This is my all time favorit scene of entire Home Alone series.

Reply

+3 Vote up Vote down

Lord Science 92p · 675 weeks ago

I guess you could say he was
:: shades::
a bit hot headed

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!! -GUNSHOT-

Reply

+2 Vote up Vote down

LinkorZelda 87p · 675 weeks ago

Don't worry kids dinner will be ready soon!

Reply

+7 Vote up Vote down

tveye 100p · 675 weeks ago

This scene always weirded me out. Having severe OCD, I couldn't help but think it was much worse than the dead baby crawling on the ceiling.

Reply

+22 Vote up Vote down

MasterLuigi452 108p · 675 weeks ago

Later that day, Mario decided to try out the 1UP Mushroom...

Let's just say the result is far worse than the regular mushroom...

Reply

4 replies · active 675 weeks ago

+9 Vote up Vote down

Spencer 119p · 675 weeks ago

...did he give birth to a Siamese twin that can move and think on its own? Eventually with or without his consent letting it pop from his head and then grow to be its own Mario?

Reply

+7 Vote up Vote down

MasterLuigi452 108p · 675 weeks ago

(<_<) (>_>)
....yes...

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+3 Vote up Vote down

Prof. Luigi 100p · 675 weeks ago

Perhaps more that once....

Reply

+3 Vote up Vote down

Dash12345678-Y 86p · 675 weeks ago

....But it wasn't a regular Mushroom in the comic. It's a Mega Mushroom.

Isn't it!? D:

Reply

+12 Vote up Vote down

Skarge 93p · 675 weeks ago

When life gives you mushrooms, make life take the mushrooms back. Burn his house down with... em flowers!

Reply

1 reply · active 675 weeks ago

+6 Vote up Vote down

poonstev 103p · 675 weeks ago

Now, the beancounters told me we literally could not afford to buy 7 coins worth of moon rocks, much less 70 million. Bought 'em anyway. Ground them up, formed them into stars, and guess what: moon rock stars are pure poison.

Reply

+11 Vote up Vote down

RickO_ 94p · 675 weeks ago

Remember kids, say no to drugs!

Reply

1 reply · active 675 weeks ago

+2 Vote up Vote down

Prof. Luigi 100p · 675 weeks ago

BREAKING NEWS!
This just in from sinnoh airport. Some one tried to sneak in thousands of pounds of pokedrugs onto airplanes in a series of consecutive trips. This secret stach was disclosed by local pokemon researcher Professor Oak.
Here is what he had to say about it.
^(See above comic)^

Reply

+9 Vote up Vote down

TheArrived 83p · 675 weeks ago

Well he seems to have found Peach... so he must be doing something right.

Reply

1 reply · active 675 weeks ago

+10 Vote up Vote down

Skarge 93p · 675 weeks ago

A valuable lesson: When a problem comes up, get high... oh wait

Reply

+9 Vote up Vote down

xxxxxxtheundeadcat 92p · 675 weeks ago

so why isn't he covered in poo? and why is the large green pipe there BEFORE he gets high?
is he hallucinating the toads as well? or are they actually mushroom people? if the turtles are just regular turtles the is bowser still bowser? if not then who kidnapped peach?

Reply

2 replies · active 675 weeks ago

+11 Vote up Vote down

cyndaquazy 92p · 675 weeks ago

1. Super spongy bath time?
2. Because addicts need some kind of real-world seed from which their fantasies grow.
3/4. Maybe, maybe not: further analysis is required.
5/6. Hell yeah; though he's just an underground mafia boss who Mario owes money to.

Reply

+1 Vote up Vote down

Kris 81p · 675 weeks ago

you seem to be lacking math skills my friend
3/4 and 5/6 < 1
might i suggest 9/4 or 14/6?

Reply

+7 Vote up Vote down

Treeman574 119p · 675 weeks ago

To eat, or not to eat...

Reply

4 replies · active 675 weeks ago

+5 Vote up Vote down

spaghettiweegee 101p · 675 weeks ago

That poor grape.

Reply

+8 Vote up Vote down

poonstev 103p · 675 weeks ago

That's no grape. It looks like a radish or red potato.

Reply

+10 Vote up Vote down

spaghettiweegee 101p · 675 weeks ago

Or a spy.

Reply

+8 Vote up Vote down

Alice_M 79p · 675 weeks ago

Its obviously a Tanuki.

Reply

+7 Vote up Vote down

TheFancyPants 98p · 675 weeks ago

At least he doesn't get kidnapped every other week.
If that kept happening, I might try shrooms as well.

Reply

+6 Vote up Vote down

deleted4255780 73p · 675 weeks ago

Wait...the Toads actually rescued her this time?!
Finally they are useful.

Reply

+4 Vote up Vote down

TheRealKirby 94p · 675 weeks ago

I was going to save a princess, but then I got high. Then I got high.

Reply

5 replies · active 675 weeks ago

+8 Vote up Vote down

poonstev 103p · 675 weeks ago

This collect call is from the Grammar Nazis. Will you accept the charges?

Reply

+10 Vote up Vote down

MasqueNoMercy 96p · 675 weeks ago

Reply

+8 Vote up Vote down

LinkorZelda 87p · 675 weeks ago

Reply

+2 Vote up Vote down

Vosur 92p · 675 weeks ago

'Sup Dog.

Reply

+6 Vote up Vote down

LinkorZelda 87p · 675 weeks ago

Do you deny these charges?

Reply

Comments by IntenseDebate

50 Comments

TheFancyPants on May 23rd, 2012 11:55 pm

At least he doesn't get kidnapped every other week.
If that kept happening, I might try shrooms as well.
xxxxxxtheundeadcat on May 24th, 2012 12:02 am

so why isn't he covered in poo? and why is the large green pipe there BEFORE he gets high?
is he hallucinating the toads as well? or are they actually mushroom people? if the turtles are just regular turtles the is bowser still bowser? if not then who kidnapped peach?
Hyze on May 24th, 2012 12:19 am

In the sequel we learn about Mario's mentally deranged brother who lives in the asylum, or his "mansion" as he likes to call it. Every so often he gets ahold of the janitor's vacuum and starts chasing the people in white lab coats around calling them "boos".
TheArrived on May 24th, 2012 12:30 am

Well he seems to have found Peach… so he must be doing something right.
Skarge on May 24th, 2012 12:43 am

When life gives you mushrooms, make life take the mushrooms back. Burn his house down with… em flowers!
TheTaurenRogue on May 24th, 2012 1:05 am

Diving into toilets and plumbing for drugs seems fairly legit…

<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_li276pK6eo1qdunk8o1_500.gif" />

This one leads to the underwater level!
MasterLuigi452 on May 24th, 2012 2:00 am

Later that day, Mario decided to try out the 1UP Mushroom…
<img src="http://www.halolz.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/05/1up.jpg">
Let's just say the result is far worse than the regular mushroom…
MeatyMcSausage on May 24th, 2012 2:03 am

OK, I don't want to be that guy, but let's face it, mario eating shrooms and getting high is seriously one of the oldest video game jokes, it's been on tv, in stand up comedy routines, and this comic just does nothing with it. I know the halolz comments section is a place for bad puns and unnecessarily long yet incredible stories and such, but I feel that this is worth saying.

Now I'll just slip this here and hide behind my downvote shields…
<img src="http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_leo31lfRGD1qzcy1w.jpg"/>
Treeman574 on May 24th, 2012 8:01 am

To eat, or not to eat…

<img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3512/3750935284_700b9ac7a9.jpg" width="420" height="320" />
SpaghettiWeegee on May 24th, 2012 8:54 am

Good thing I've been training for writing a funny comment on this kind of joke!

*tenses up body*

IF MARIO EVER WANTED TO GET HIGH

COULDN'T HE JUST CLIMB A VINE GROWING OUT OF A BRICK?

<img style="height:300px;" src="http://i.ytimg.com/vi/CVPiGawLp9U/0.jpg">
RickO_ on May 24th, 2012 9:11 am

Remember kids, say no to drugs!

<img src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-5IYv4Ys4VeE/TtOsrBdvsUI/AAAAAAAABa0/FxB8aMCV-JY/s1600/dr+oak+bitch+be+trippin+balls+pokemon+pokeballs+meme.png">
Teleporting Rock on May 24th, 2012 10:03 am

Wait…the Toads actually rescued her this time?!
Finally they are useful.
TheRealKirby on May 24th, 2012 11:51 am

I was going to save a princess, but then I got high. Then I got high.

Feel free to leave a comment...
and oh, if you want a pic to show with your comment, go get a gravatar!