Monday, May 05, 2025


Rude Pokémon Card Game Attacks

And to think the Pokemon Card Game is for kids of all ages! How inappropriate!
By Aziz B.

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Posted by Shawn Handyside on March 13, 2012 · 11:02 PM 
FAILLAMENOT BADPRETTY GOODAWESOME (230 votes, average: 4.68 out of 5)
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Categories:
Adult Situations, Card Games on Motorcycles, Nintendo, Pokémon, Special Attacks

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Lisa was trying to get Mark in the mood with a SPEED STROKE, but he realized his arousal was dying. She decided to spice things up with an UPWARD LICK, followed by a POWER BLOW. Mark was enjoying himself, but at the speed she was going, he couldn't help but fear she would BITE. She seemed to notice this and wanted to HARASS him, so as a DIRTY TRICK, decided to gently BITE ON. Mike couldn't help but THRASH. She was determined to finish the job and held him in place, and gave way to SUBMISSION. Before he could steady himself, Lisa had quite a mouthful to SWALLOW. Mike told her "SWALLOW UP" and moved to her backside. He gave her a TAIL SPANK and decided to JUMP ON. He began a BONE RUSH, and to get her in the mood, gave her behind another TAIL SLAP, and finally, one last QUICK BLOW. Before he could finish, she told him to FLIP OVER, and went to RAM him. He knew he wasn't going to last long from this HEAVY BONE, and tried to PULL OUT, but she only went to POUND harder. Next thing he knew, Mark released his HYPER PUMP. Lisa was in shock, so Mark decided his only option was to PUNCH AND RUN.

THE END.
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9 replies · active 685 weeks ago
I like to think that all those attacks are on the same card.

Ditto learned a few moves at the daycare!
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3 replies · active 685 weeks ago
Diglett dig.
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4 replies · active 685 weeks ago
Well,


VS



Team Rocket wins hands down.

Either way, its still a children's card game played by adults.
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5 replies · active 612 weeks ago
Pokemon porn: Because your childhood hasn't been raped enough.
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20 replies · active 685 weeks ago
some_text
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4 replies · active 685 weeks ago
only thing better is card games on motorcycles.
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10 replies · active 685 weeks ago
I have deduced THROUGH SCIENCE! that the blue card (hehe, blue), having three attacks, and is therefor the dirtiest, belongs to Politoed!
Children, keep your poliwhirls away from King's Rocks!
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Speed Stroke makes me laugh.
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2 replies · active 685 weeks ago
Like it wasn't easy enough with Hydro Pump, Leech Seed, Spit Up, Swallow, Bind, Harden, String Shot, Horn Drill, need I go on?
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3 replies · active 685 weeks ago
Poliwrath doing 20 damage to itself is pretty inappropriate... Okay, you win this round Shawn.
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Wait, Bite On?

...kinky.
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1 reply · active 685 weeks ago
I, for one, am morally outraged on how people constantly make sexual references in Pokemon, It just sickens me.
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4 replies · active 685 weeks ago
Yeah. Yeah I do about all of these.

*cough*

I'm not a Pokemon, I can know more than four moves dammit, shut up!
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1 reply · active 685 weeks ago
What, grope's not on here? YEah. THat's a pokemon attack. It's on a Sentret.
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Harass hasn't worked so well for me in the past...
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Pokemon.
Corrupting our mind since childhood.
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looks like someone needs a 'helping hand'
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1 reply · active 685 weeks ago
Most basic move is "Tackle" and yet they still wonder where the eggs come from. At least some learnt to use "Protect" in Gen II.
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What, and no Sweet Kiss? If you're wondering how the last one's an innuendo, teach it to a male Pokemon and then make that male Pokemon use the move on another male Pokemon. Particulary a male Kakuna.
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What about Grope? D: Can't forget that one. :D
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Metapod used Harden!
Metapod gets to do another move!
Metapod used Stringshot!
Metapod gets to do another move!
Metapod used Pound!
Metapod gets to do another move!
Metapod used Pound!
Metapod gets to do another move!
Metapod used Pound!
Metapod died of too much fun!
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Pot_In_A_Jar's avatar

Pot_In_A_Jar · 685 weeks ago

...'Flytrap?'
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At least they pulled out
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Relevant.
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7 replies · active 685 weeks ago

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