Aluminum bats? Don’t make me laugh, everyone knows the pros have Deadwood.
[via Dead Rising’s Facebook Fan Page]

Deadwood Pro Baseball Bats

Posted by Shawn Handyside on February 8, 2012 · 3:26 AM

(127 votes, average: 4.43 out of 5)

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Categories:
Capcom, Dead Rising, Heavy Weapons, PC, Playstation, Serious Business, Smashy Smashy, Sports, Strike A Pose, Xbox 360, Zombies

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+25 Vote up Vote down

Simply DA 100p · 691 weeks ago

I'm Professional Photographer Frank West and this is my favorite Bat on the citad--...mall.

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+22 Vote up Vote down

mrshinyobject 79p · 691 weeks ago

"Aluminum bats? Don’t make me laugh."

Say goodbye to you kneecaps chucklehead.

Report

5 replies · active 690 weeks ago

+18 Vote up Vote down

VyseRogueKing 103p · 691 weeks ago

Wooden bats? Aluminum bats? Ha! Why don't I introduce your face to my fish?

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+9 Vote up Vote down

Vabolo 118p · 691 weeks ago

*Infinite jump with atomizer and Force-A-Nature*

I'm flyin'!

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+15 Vote up Vote down

deleted801691 109p · 691 weeks ago

You call that flying you glorified sissy? Watch a real man show you how it's done.
*Shoot at feet, blow self up*

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+7 Vote up Vote down

LinkorZelda 87p · 691 weeks ago

Call now, and I'll throw in a second beating absolutely free!

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+4 Vote up Vote down

WheelMan1337 95p · 690 weeks ago

No thanks, a local already gave me a HAND with finding a good weapon.

Slide me some skin, boyyyyy!

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+15 Vote up Vote down

Jimmy (ケンタ Kenta) 113p · 691 weeks ago

I used to know a guy that had deadwood. That's when his rigor mortis set in...he took too much Viagra if you ask me...poor bastard...

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6 replies · active 690 weeks ago

+12 Vote up Vote down

Vabolo 118p · 691 weeks ago

At least he didn't split his bat in two as he tried going for homebase.

(Yes, the whole base metaphor applies here)

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+5 Vote up Vote down

Wookz 80p · 691 weeks ago

When I am at the pool and need to think about baseball, I always go for Deadwood. Thanks Frank West!

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+4 Vote up Vote down

Mindlessinvalid 91p · 690 weeks ago

That sounds suspiciously like when Gilbert Gottfried roasted Hugh Hefner. The jokes were, in this order: "They say Hugh Hefner has his partners screaming in the bedroom. They scream all right, screaming in terror 'Is he dead?'" "Some people accuse Hugh Hefner of using Viagra to get hard. I know for a fact that he doesn't use Viagra, because not even three whole bottles of those little blue pills could make him any less flaccid." "The only way Hugh Hefner could get hard, is from rigor mortis, and trust me, that's going to happen pretty soon. The guy's so old, he probably fucked Cleopatra back in the day, I mean, who hadn't?"

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+6 Vote up Vote down

Jimmy (ケンタ Kenta) 113p · 690 weeks ago

99.99% of my puns and jokes are original. Trust me, I'm a doctor.

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+11 Vote up Vote down

Randolph Magic Key 99p · 690 weeks ago

Attention, fellow Halolzians. Jimmy is not a real doctor. Do not let him touch your genitals. Unless of course, he takes you out to dinner first.

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+5 Vote up Vote down

Jimmy (ケンタ Kenta) 113p · 690 weeks ago

If we go out to eat, you're "paying the restaurant". I'm NOT buying.

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+12 Vote up Vote down

deleted801691 109p · 690 weeks ago

So we are doing fliers now? Ok, I'm down.

I need to do more productive things with my time...

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+11 Vote up Vote down

The Pualrus 100p · 691 weeks ago

Looks like nobody can stop...

The BATman.

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4 replies · active 690 weeks ago

+8 Vote up Vote down

Deep Thought 105p · 690 weeks ago

Well that joke was quite base. It would be a shame if it happened to strike a nerve.

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+9 Vote up Vote down

SirNumel 97p · 690 weeks ago

Ooh, swing and a miss, there. One more pun like that and you're out!

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+5 Vote up Vote down

RenegadeSparks 91p · 690 weeks ago

let's hope we don't let these puns get too foul

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+6 Vote up Vote down

Randolph Magic Key 99p · 690 weeks ago

Or too random. I've seen some puns that were way out of left field.

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+11 Vote up Vote down

TCC 105p · 691 weeks ago

He looks like he really likes the feel of that Deadwood in his hands.

He's beaten off many a zombie with that Deadwood.

yup...

....

penis.

Report

2 replies · active 690 weeks ago

+5 Vote up Vote down

SirNumel 97p · 690 weeks ago

I see what you did there.

Now do it to me.

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+5 Vote up Vote down

Randolph Magic Key 99p · 690 weeks ago

*Beats SirNumel with a baseball bat*
I'm not sure why you wanted that but it was kinda fun.

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+11 Vote up Vote down

VyseRogueKing 103p · 691 weeks ago

I found this review floating around the Deadwood website.

"I really love their line of cricket bats. That cracking sound when it connects is truly satisfying. However the one drawback is that it's really hard to get a clean hit when red tends get everywhere. 4/5
~Shaun"

Report

+7 Vote up Vote down

TheAceOfSkulls 86p · 690 weeks ago

You know, I would hate the makers of this bat if they hadn't ordered 53,594 zombies for R&D and photo ops.

That being said, I almost hung up on them when they said they wanted them for the sake of showing off the quality of their wood and then again when they tried to clarify that they just meant they wanted to smash their bats against the heads of some zombies.

...I kinda wish that was the weirdest call I've gotten at this job. I really do.

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+7 Vote up Vote down

Happy_Crazy 112p · 691 weeks ago

Of course, all you could hear at the photo shoot was "FAN-TASTIC!"

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+7 Vote up Vote down

Zoe 101p · 691 weeks ago

He's covered wars ya know.

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1 reply · active 691 weeks ago

+14 Vote up Vote down

deleted801691 109p · 691 weeks ago

Covering wars for media does not prepare one for mall invasions...
So learn from Dead Rising kids, don't cover wars.

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+6 Vote up Vote down

PvtDisposable 90p · 690 weeks ago

That bat really brings out the professionalism of his outfit. I guess you could say that it really "suits" him.

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+6 Vote up Vote down

deleted801691 109p · 691 weeks ago

*After this advertisement*
"What is this crap? I wouldn't use one of these cheap knock offs to save my life."

Because we all know how Frank West is true to his sayings..

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+6 Vote up Vote down

Zyquux 103p · 691 weeks ago

Relevant.

(Gee, it's been a while since I've done this, hasn't it?)

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3 replies · active 690 weeks ago

+11 Vote up Vote down

VyseRogueKing 103p · 691 weeks ago

Oh god TvTropes and it's 4:30 in the morning. Oh well who needs sleep anyway?

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+7 Vote up Vote down

Newt 88p · 690 weeks ago

How is it that when I post links to TVTropes, they get thumbed down, but this instance gets thumbs up?
I guess you can guess where this is going...

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+7 Vote up Vote down

Zyquux 103p · 690 weeks ago

The League of Extraordinary Gentrollmen strikes again!

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+4 Vote up Vote down

PvtDisposable 90p · 691 weeks ago

Killing zombies gives me wood.

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+2 Vote up Vote down

Smiles122 37p · 690 weeks ago

Frank West is the man! He has an Africa blood splatter on his shirt.

Report

+1 Vote up Vote down

Alice_M 79p · 691 weeks ago

Zed Baseball League.

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0 Vote up Vote down

Ackbuster · 690 weeks ago

Frank west looks like Dan Aykroyd to me.. Strap a proton pack on him and BAM no more zombie threats.

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0 Vote up Vote down

Alex · 690 weeks ago

YAY Dead Rising Love =)

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0 Vote up Vote down

ianmorris · 691 weeks ago

considering the ads for throw-away cameras he has made, i expect those bats to be some cheapo off brand. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YvfSEPZ8HYM

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0 Vote up Vote down

Rumplestilskin · 691 weeks ago

To be honest: it's the only brand good enough I could think of right of the bat

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Comments by IntenseDebate

44 Comments

mrshinyobject on February 8th, 2012 3:43 am

"Aluminum bats? Don’t make me laugh."

Say goodbye to you kneecaps chucklehead.
VyseRogueKing on February 8th, 2012 4:20 am

I found this review floating around the Deadwood website.

"I really love their line of cricket bats. That cracking sound when it connects is truly satisfying. However the one drawback is that it's really hard to get a clean hit when red tends get everywhere. 4/5
~Shaun"
Just DA on February 8th, 2012 4:35 am

I'm Professional Photographer Frank West and this is my favorite Bat on the citad--…mall.
Zoe on February 8th, 2012 4:41 am

He's covered wars ya know.
Rumplestilskin on February 8th, 2012 4:46 am

To be honest: it's the only brand good enough I could think of right of the bat
ianmorris on February 8th, 2012 5:35 am

considering the ads for throw-away cameras he has made, i expect those bats to be some cheapo off brand. rel="nofollow">
Zyquux on February 8th, 2012 5:46 am

Relevant.

(Gee, it's been a while since I've done this, hasn't it?)
Jimmy on February 8th, 2012 6:10 am

I used to know a guy that had deadwood. That's when his rigor mortis set in…he took too much Viagra if you ask me…poor bastard…
Vabolo on February 8th, 2012 7:52 am

<img src="http://img407.imageshack.us/img407/5695/fzyeah.jpg" /img>
Hong_Meiling on February 8th, 2012 8:03 am

Zed Baseball League.
Skrist on February 8th, 2012 8:10 am

*After this advertisement*
"What is this crap? I wouldn't use one of these cheap knock offs to save my life."

Because we all know how Frank West is true to his sayings..
PvtDisposable on February 8th, 2012 8:19 am

Killing zombies gives me wood.
TCC on February 8th, 2012 9:30 am

He looks like he really likes the feel of that Deadwood in his hands.

He's beaten off many a zombie with that Deadwood.

yup…

….

penis.
C__F on February 8th, 2012 10:00 am

Looks like nobody can stop…
<img src="http://photo-dictionary.com/photofiles/list/653/1061baseball_bat.jpg" width="230" height="100" /img>
The BATman.
PvtDisposable on February 8th, 2012 11:29 am

That bat really brings out the professionalism of his outfit. I guess you could say that it really "suits" him.
Alex on February 8th, 2012 12:24 pm

YAY Dead Rising Love =)
Skrist on February 8th, 2012 3:31 pm

So we are doing fliers now? Ok, I'm down.
<img src="http://i1054.photobucket.com/albums/s486/Shadowskrist/choiceofanewgeneration.png" width="450" height="700">
I need to do more productive things with my time…
TheAceOfSkulls on February 8th, 2012 3:40 pm

You know, I would hate the makers of this bat if they hadn't ordered 53,594 zombies for R&D and photo ops.

That being said, I almost hung up on them when they said they wanted them for the sake of showing off the quality of their wood and then again when they tried to clarify that they just meant they wanted to smash their bats against the heads of some zombies.

…I kinda wish that was the weirdest call I've gotten at this job. I really do.
Smiles122 on February 8th, 2012 9:12 pm

Frank West is the man! He has an Africa blood splatter on his shirt.
Ackbuster on February 9th, 2012 11:41 am

Frank west looks like Dan Aykroyd to me.. Strap a proton pack on him and BAM no more zombie threats.