Aperture Laboratories wishes you and your designated loved ones a very happy holiday, and reminds you not to approach the decorative science topiary as it is highly radioactive and contains several varieties of weaponized “Christmas cheer.”
By Tymykal [via io9]
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Posted by Shawn Handyside on December 26, 2011 · 5:27 PM
  (317 votes, average: 4.80 out of 5) Loading ... |
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Categories: Christmas, Holidays, No Caption Needed, Photo Op, Portal, Science/Math, Too Much Free Time, Valve Software · Leave a comment (47 Comments) |
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Did you know the site has over 4,000 video game themed lolz?
A lot of Portal stuff this Christmas… don't ask me why, I just work here!
Chell's going to be very disappointed when she finds that the cake is actually a Fruitcake
Baby Jesus makes a great button weight, now if only he was cube shaped…
"All hail our equally proportional savior!"
The Lab Boys report that Quantum Android Santa was not quite operational yet. You will have to do with the regular, non-radioactive, Santa.
Speaking of Portal related stuff…guess what i got for Christmas?!?!?!
My new talking Cave Johnson Portrait!
http://www.thinkgeek.com/geektoys/collectibles/ea…
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No Chell, No, the Christmas pudding is not the cake. Yes Chell, Yes it's supposed to be on fire. No Chell, No you're not supposed to eat it when it's on fire. Yes Chell, Yes you are on fire you can at least say something about it you bloody eejit.
There are so many portal submissions I think I'm starting to see portals on my walls…
Cave Johnson Here.
Now, I told the lab boys that the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device is not a toy. They told me it was research. So I told them where they could put their Christmas trees. I then had portals set to fire under their chairs during the next conference, only because I knew that they wouldn't be able to figure that out on their own. I didn't know that trees had so much penetration power when dropped from five stories. I thought it was a riot.
Needless to say, the lab boys were picking their wedgies for weeks after last year's mention of a Christmas bonus. The best part is: I haven't heard a peep about it at all this year. Looks like somebody learned their lesson.
Cave Johnson. We're done here.
I… What… Just…
This my friends is called win.
OK stupid question. Where do you put the presents?
Holiday Season 2011 was brought to you by Aperture Science Inc.
I have a special security laser system for my presents. It requires a weighted companion cube, a portal gun, and some egg nog. You don't want to know how you use the egg nog.
Lets see Santa try to put presents under this bitch.
I kept getting annoyed by how this image was getting circulated.
Then I realized it's not photoshopped.
So, suppose I were to drop the contents of my silverware drawer (minus the spoons) into a vertically arrayed couplet of portals (for specificity, blue on top, orange on bottom) for around 30 minutes then rigged the portal gun to a remote trigger and pointed it at my fireplace so when Santa enters the chimney the blue portal opens at the bottom.
Would it be ironic if those forks and knives were given to me by Santa a year prior?
Deck the halls with neurotoxin,
Falalalala lala lala~
'Tis the time to start the testin'
Falalalala lala lala~
Here's a shiny potal gun
Falala lalala la la la~
Golly gee, ain't science fun?
Falalalala la la la la~
I could say this was a waste of time and effort, but then I'd just be gramer.
Now you're thinking with… I'll just show myself out.