I can see the trailer now. THIS SUMMER, IN A WORLD OF QUANTUM PHYSICS, ONE WOMAN DARES TO SURVIVE. It would probably have this for a movie poster too!
By Dan Trachtenberg, submitted by everyone

[VIDEO] Portal: No Escape

Posted by Shawn Handyside on August 24, 2011 · 10:33 AM

(193 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5)

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Categories:
Depressing, It's A Trap!, Paranoia, Portal, Science/Math, Valve Software, Video Clips

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+22 Vote up Vote down

Zeleas 73p · 709 weeks ago

Tell me I'm not the only one who was waiting for an extra after the credits.

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1 reply · active 709 weeks ago

+7 Vote up Vote down

FrEEz 79p · 709 weeks ago

I just skipped through the credits then was like 'Oh :('

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+17 Vote up Vote down

GameboyPATH 106p · 709 weeks ago

HELLO, CHELL.
I WANT TO PLAY A GAME.

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4 replies · active 709 weeks ago

+12 Vote up Vote down

DTurboKiller 82p · 709 weeks ago

I SAW what you did there.

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+11 Vote up Vote down

Marzen 101p · 709 weeks ago

Only winning move is not to play.

How about a nice game of TF2?

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+9 Vote up Vote down

Deep Thought 105p · 709 weeks ago

That is equally as unwinnable... oh hey! CP BlackMesa!

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+6 Vote up Vote down

Vabolo 118p · 709 weeks ago

For science!

You monster.

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+15 Vote up Vote down

Arch_Evil_Angel 95p · 709 weeks ago

I'm noticing a distinct lack of murderous AI constructs...

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1 reply · active 709 weeks ago

+7 Vote up Vote down

Xyxoz 86p · 709 weeks ago

Who do you think made the food, fake scenery, hard light cops and the rooms themselves?

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+14 Vote up Vote down

CFW spplmj 122p · 709 weeks ago

I dont know why but maybe it was the building jump scene that reminded me of The Matrix.

"You enter the blue portal -- the test ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You enter the orange portal -- you stay in Aperture and I show you how far the testing track goes."

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+13 Vote up Vote down

Lunch 78p · 709 weeks ago

I would PAY for someone to buy me a ticket to this movie

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3 replies · active 708 weeks ago

+11 Vote up Vote down

Vabolo 118p · 709 weeks ago

With Monopoly money?

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+8 Vote up Vote down

DTurboKiller 82p · 709 weeks ago

That's illegal son, I'm gonna have to report you to the Space Cops.

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+3 Vote up Vote down

TheSpaceCore 89p · 708 weeks ago

Did someone call the space cops?

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+12 Vote up Vote down

Vabolo 118p · 709 weeks ago

Damn she's buff!

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2 replies · active 709 weeks ago

+13 Vote up Vote down

VyseRogueKing 103p · 709 weeks ago

This woman makes me ashamed of my spindly arms. T.T

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+8 Vote up Vote down

Vabolo 118p · 709 weeks ago

I could lose to a stickman at armwrestling.

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+11 Vote up Vote down

BlurrySandwich 112p · 709 weeks ago

I know it is overposted, but still

Somebody in hollywood better get on this project NOW

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8 replies · active 708 weeks ago

+12 Vote up Vote down

Vabolo 118p · 709 weeks ago

Just don't make it Michael Bay. Please. PLEASE.

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+6 Vote up Vote down

Shatman 96p · 709 weeks ago

Let Michael Bay handle the fights in Space Marine.

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+6 Vote up Vote down

Deep Thought 105p · 709 weeks ago

Don't you mean Spehs Marenss?

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+3 Vote up Vote down

Shatman 96p · 709 weeks ago

No, I mean SPEHS MUREEEEENS. He can write Angry Marines.

ALWAYS ANGRY! ALL THE TIME!

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+5 Vote up Vote down

Marzen 101p · 709 weeks ago

*Hires Ed Wood instead* :D

FROM BEYOOOOND THE GRAAAAAAAAAAVE.

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+4 Vote up Vote down

Vabolo 118p · 709 weeks ago

WITH THE ASSISTANCE OF UNDEAD STANLEY KUBRICK

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+5 Vote up Vote down

Zeleas 73p · 709 weeks ago

I just went and looked at the 70's movie poster again, and this is the number 1 comment on that post as well. But it starts with "Because it hasn't been posted enough:" Some things never change.

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+3 Vote up Vote down

vash_ts 88p · 708 weeks ago

I would pay to see it...

I was waiting at the last scene that GlaDos could be heard saying:
"Good, it seems We cAn begIn Testing..."

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+10 Vote up Vote down

VyseRogueKing 103p · 709 weeks ago

I think this is the only movie that can get away with the main character not talking.

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+9 Vote up Vote down

masashi98 117p · 709 weeks ago

well i guess it was ok to look into the operational end of the device after all "3:08"

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1 reply · active 709 weeks ago

+1 Vote up Vote down

SHODAK 95p · 709 weeks ago

Well, she didn't look *right* into it, just off from the side.

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+7 Vote up Vote down

Jeevas 81p · 709 weeks ago

"Submitted by everyone" is indeed an accurate statement.

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+5 Vote up Vote down

CriticalQuit 93p · 709 weeks ago

Aperture taking lying to a new scale.

THE WORLD IS A LIE.

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+4 Vote up Vote down

OrangeKegon 27p · 709 weeks ago

Now her biggest challenge will be... saying apple

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+4 Vote up Vote down

DTurboKiller 82p · 709 weeks ago

The only thing that looks like Portal is the gun itself and the physics. The rest looks very different... No excessively white rooms and corridors? Lack of murderously charming AI, instead we have guards? Not a single GLADoS appearance?
Sounds like a Hollywood movie alright, all showy and no heart to it.

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1 reply · active 709 weeks ago

+4 Vote up Vote down

CriticalQuit 93p · 709 weeks ago

It's a short sketch. And more importantly an "original" sketch. The story/setting is customized. Anyway, in the ending portion, we couldn't tell if the walls were white or just grey because there was no light. And they probably didn't have the voice modulation or voice for GLaDOS. Besides, they wanted this protagonist to feel alone, not even a haunting AI taunting them.

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+4 Vote up Vote down

TCC 105p · 709 weeks ago

.... Guards? really? The REAL Aperture Labs just would have used Murderous AI constructs.

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+4 Vote up Vote down

Pie Row 101p · 709 weeks ago

I was half expecting to hear GLADoS to make some witty quip about the mashed potatoes, or the woman's muscles, but that was good too.

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+2 Vote up Vote down

Gourmet 94p · 709 weeks ago

3:08
HEY! Do not look in the the operational end of the device!

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+2 Vote up Vote down

Drjolt 74p · 709 weeks ago

For your safety, and the safety of others, please refrain from hitting the guards with the portal device. Not even partially.

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+2 Vote up Vote down

Thaytay 0p · 709 weeks ago

My first thought at seeing the chip in her neck: Caroline? oO

GlaDOs - the Beginning

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+1 Vote up Vote down

tstriker1 78p · 708 weeks ago

*notices Shawn said that everyone submitted this*
*remembers nothing about submitting this*
*realizes that Shawn doesn't think I'm anyone if "everyone" submitted this* ;;-;;

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+1 Vote up Vote down

Gamage 91p · 709 weeks ago

She wakes up in a mysterious room wearing a straight jacket, looks in the mirror and what are her first thoughts?
1. Change clothes
2. Get a hair cut
3. I'm fat and need to lose some weight

This is why we can't have female leads...

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+1 Vote up Vote down

benymol 0p · 709 weeks ago

it would have been awesome if one of the cubes lit up with a heart at the end.

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+1 Vote up Vote down

Cloak 93p · 709 weeks ago

I... I have no words for this.

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0 Vote up Vote down

witchkitty · 672 weeks ago

The only problem i have at all is that it doesn't follow the real story -.- yes it is cool and looks amazing and i would love to see a portal movie i think it would be awesome but i think it should follow the actual story because the real story is amazing

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Comments by IntenseDebate

46 Comments

BlurrySandwich on August 24th, 2011 10:42 am

I know it is overposted, but still
<img src="http://lusipurr.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/Futurama-Phillip-J.-Fry-Shut-Up-and-Take-My-Money.jpg">
Somebody in hollywood better get on this project NOW
Vabolo on August 24th, 2011 10:49 am

Damn she's buff!
Geek 2.0 on August 24th, 2011 10:53 am

I would PAY for someone to buy me a ticket to this movie
GameboyPATH on August 24th, 2011 11:03 am

HELLO, CHELL.
I WANT TO PLAY A GAME.
Arch_Evil_Angel on August 24th, 2011 11:26 am

I'm noticing a distinct lack of murderous AI constructs…
masashi98 on August 24th, 2011 11:36 am

well i guess it was ok to look into the operational end of the device after all "3:08"
Jeevas on August 24th, 2011 11:51 am

"Submitted by everyone" is indeed an accurate statement.
VyseRogueKing on August 24th, 2011 12:00 pm

I think this is the only movie that can get away with the main character not talking.
Bobomberman on August 24th, 2011 12:17 pm

I was half expecting to hear GLADoS to make some witty quip about the mashed potatoes, or the woman's muscles, but that was good too.
coltsman88 on August 24th, 2011 12:22 pm

Tell me I'm not the only one who was waiting for an extra after the credits.
FrEEz on August 24th, 2011 1:56 pm

If it was made, it would suck.

End of story.

At the very best it would be mediocre.
Thaytay on August 24th, 2011 2:08 pm

My first thought at seeing the chip in her neck: Caroline? oO

GlaDOs -- the Beginning
TCC on August 24th, 2011 2:23 pm

…. Guards? really? The REAL Aperture Labs just would have used Murderous AI constructs.
DTurboKiller on August 24th, 2011 3:00 pm

The only thing that looks like Portal is the gun itself and the physics. The rest looks very different… No excessively white rooms and corridors? Lack of murderously charming AI, instead we have guards? Not a single GLADoS appearance?
Sounds like a Hollywood movie alright, all showy and no heart to it.
Drjolt on August 24th, 2011 3:42 pm

For your safety, and the safety of others, please refrain from hitting the guards with the portal device. Not even partially.
OrangeKegon on August 24th, 2011 3:59 pm

Now her biggest challenge will be… saying apple
spplmj on August 24th, 2011 4:53 pm

I dont know why but maybe it was the building jump scene that reminded me of The Matrix.

"You enter the blue portal — the test ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You enter the orange portal — you stay in Aperture and I show you how far the testing track goes."
AManWithACloak on August 24th, 2011 6:37 pm

I… I have no words for this.
CriticalQuit on August 24th, 2011 7:06 pm

Aperture taking lying to a new scale.

THE WORLD IS A LIE.
benymol on August 24th, 2011 8:28 pm

it would have been awesome if one of the cubes lit up with a heart at the end.
Cake Core on August 24th, 2011 11:32 pm

3:08
HEY! Do not look in the the operational end of the device!
Gamage on August 25th, 2011 2:38 am

She wakes up in a mysterious room wearing a straight jacket, looks in the mirror and what are her first thoughts?
1. Change clothes
2. Get a hair cut
3. I'm fat and need to lose some weight

This is why we can't have female leads…
tstriker1 on August 25th, 2011 7:14 am

*notices Shawn said that everyone submitted this*
*remembers nothing about submitting this*
*realizes that Shawn doesn't think I'm anyone if "everyone" submitted this* ;;-;;
witchkitty on May 4th, 2012 12:31 pm

The only problem i have at all is that it doesn't follow the real story -.- yes it is cool and looks amazing and i would love to see a portal movie i think it would be awesome but i think it should follow the actual story because the real story is amazing