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THROW SCIENCE AT THE WALL, SEE WHAT STICKS

BLOOD TURNED INTO GASOLINE? THAT'S NORMAL.

WHEELCHAIR RAMPS TOO EXPENSIVE. BUY MOON ROCKS.

INJECT PEOPLE WITH MANTIS DNA, FIGHT AN ARMY OF MANTIS-MEN

JUMP ON BLUE PAINT, BREAK BOTH YOUR LEGS

BUY EXPENSIVE MOON ROCKS, GRIND THEM INTO GEL

INVENT COMBUSTIBLE LEMONS, BURN LIFE'S HOUSE DOWN

LAB BOYS SAY STOP RECORDING MESSAGES. RECORD MORE MESSAGES.

Clearly Cave Johnson made all the right decisions in life… truly his are words to live by!
By Leko

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Some Advice From 1950’s Cave Johnson



Posted by Shawn Handyside on April 26, 2011 · 1:47 PM 
FAILLAMENOT BADPRETTY GOODAWESOME (351 votes, average: 4.68 out of 5)
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Categories:
Advice Meme, Bad Ideas, PC, Playstation, Portal, Science/Math, Valve Software, Xbox 360

· Leave a comment (110 Comments)



 

110 Responses to “Some Advice From 1950’s Cave Johnson”

  1. therandombear on April 26th, 2011 1:49 pm

    Yup, this man speaks what we're all thinking!

    I support his combustible lemons project.

  2. scubajesus on April 26th, 2011 1:51 pm

    Couple of them were good quotes, but it would be nice if it didn't take up 3 pages on the front page.

  3. Shawn Handyside on April 26th, 2011 1:51 pm

    Cave Johnson. We're done here.

  4. Doc_ock_rokc on April 26th, 2011 1:53 pm

    When life gives you lemons

    Burn life's house down
    WITH THE LEMONS!

  5. bc524 on April 26th, 2011 1:54 pm

    OPEN HALOLZ

    SEE ADVICE MEME ಠ_ಠ

    (well…at least it isn't courage kratos…)

  6. SushiGummy on April 26th, 2011 1:56 pm

    Cave Johnson sounds like the kinda guy who had a combustible lemonade stand when he was young, but never made as much money as the kid next door, Gordon.

  7. Lordshadow on April 26th, 2011 1:59 pm

    SEE FUNNY ADVICE MEME

    Advice Lordshadow

    BE CONFLICTED

  8. RemielChibus on April 26th, 2011 1:59 pm

    Don't worry. That feeling of impending doom is normal. It comes with this module AI system.

  9. smashpro1 on April 26th, 2011 2:15 pm

    Advice Cave Johnson is the best Advice Meme.

  10. TehBlueOne on April 26th, 2011 3:16 pm

    The colours not remind anyone of Irn Bru?

  11. Luigi676 on April 26th, 2011 3:21 pm

    Blood turned into gasoline?

    …I think that'd only be normal for gearheads.

  12. seanhl on April 26th, 2011 3:22 pm

    I know what to name this one, please not courage Cave, I know it isn't alliteration but how about SCIENCE Johnson

  13. CriticalQuit on April 26th, 2011 4:08 pm

    Advice Cave Johnson meme? Awesome.

    Rant about Safe Science

    Fire imaginary objector

  14. Kevvo on April 26th, 2011 4:14 pm

    BUY MOON ROCKS

    CONVERT MOON ROCKS INTO FIFTY THOUSAND DOLLAR REPULSION GEL

    MAKE HOMELESS MAN JUMP FIFTY FEET ONTO BLUE PAINT.

    LAUGH.

  15. Lekonua on April 26th, 2011 4:22 pm

    SEND IN A BUNCH EXPECTING MAYBE 1 WILL GET PICKED

    Blank staring Leko

    ENTIRE BATCH GOES UP
    ———————————————-
    MAKE SARCASTIC COMMENT ABOUT HALOLZ LOVING ADVICE MEMES

    Blank staring Leko

    SHAWN TAKES IT LITERALLY

  16. invadingduck on April 26th, 2011 4:59 pm

    BECOME CAVE JOHNSON

    USE SCIENCE TO MAKE ADVICE MEMES FUNNY AGAIN.

  17. zeldafan8 on April 26th, 2011 5:52 pm

    This has to be the one advice meme I approve of entirely.

  18. Pioneer1 on April 26th, 2011 6:29 pm

    <a (href)="url">words<(/a)>
    remove the parenthesis, and post it.
    like so

  19. Zyquux on April 26th, 2011 6:56 pm

    Halolz is the first result for Courage Kratos! :D

  20. Red on April 26th, 2011 7:09 pm

    <img src="http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110421153503/half-life/en/images/thumb/3/3d/SpaceCore.jpg/129px-SpaceCore.jpg&quot; alt="" />
    Space!
    (as does the space core!)

  21. Zyquux on April 26th, 2011 7:09 pm

    WHY DOES THIS NOT HAVE MORE +1S?!

  22. smashpro1 on April 26th, 2011 8:22 pm

    GET SCIENCE STUFF PUT IN YOU
    GET ANOTHER SIXTY BUCKS

  23. Lekonua on April 26th, 2011 9:15 pm

    Cave Johnson here. FACT: the key to any successful website is advice memes. And as our data clearly shows, humans can't make advice memes.

    The solution? TEMPLATES!

    BAM! Templates gave us 6 extra seconds of funny.

    Good job, templates.

  24. TheUnknownNoob on April 26th, 2011 10:05 pm

    Hire homeless people.

    Trust them with multi-million dollar pieces of equipment.

  25. Toupe454 on April 26th, 2011 11:04 pm

    Can’t afford $7 worth of moonrocks.

    Buy $7 million worth of moonrocks.

  26. Lekonua on April 26th, 2011 11:40 pm

    <img src="http://www.majhost.com/gallery/lakonua/Edits/cj_asbestos.png&quot; />

  27. GigaCrashMan on April 26th, 2011 11:56 pm

    World War III will be fought underground…
    against mantis-men…
    with science.

  28. smartmonkey on April 27th, 2011 11:29 am

    *Caroline deleted*
    GLADOS DISAPPOVES

  29. Xenrek on April 27th, 2011 9:51 pm

    cave johnson is my hero, and i shall strive to make my future scientific career as great as his.

  30. Kevvo on April 28th, 2011 1:38 am

    http://www.gifbin.com/981625

  31. elitetrashmob on April 28th, 2011 3:37 am

    OOH I LOVE THIS MAN <3

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