[VIDEO] Aperture Investment Opportunity #3: “Turrets”

74 Comments

1. Lordshadow on April 5th, 2011 5:29 pm
   

   Its time for a horrible pun!
   What do you call it when an Aperture Science Stationary Hostile Protection Device spews curse words instead of bullets?

   Turrets Syndrome
   *Rimshot*
2. MasqueNoMercy on April 5th, 2011 5:29 pm
   

   hey, if the safety of my child warrants an automated turret then the safety of my child GETS and automated turret. and the soft soothing voice will calm the little guy down after all the gun fire finishes :D
3. Shawn Handyside on April 5th, 2011 5:29 pm
   

   These videos are the one time that I completely condone that act.
4. greenxboy on April 5th, 2011 5:29 pm
   

   portal 2 need to have a mode where you can custumise the sentry
5. spplmj on April 5th, 2011 5:31 pm
   

   My apologies Mr. Johnson, but I don't need a sentry turret for my baby.

   <img src="http://englishvg1.wikispaces.com/file/view/MaggieSimpson3.gif/33641749/MaggieSimpson3.gif&quot; alt="" width="382" height="550">
6. Grammar Berzerker on April 5th, 2011 5:36 pm
   

   >Turret guarding baby

   <img src="http://www.blogcdn.com/www.joystiq.com/media/2007/11/vg-cats-portal-baby-225.jpg"&gt;
7. RemielChibus on April 5th, 2011 5:59 pm
   

   I want a sentry with My Little Pony cutie marks on it. Halolz pony-haters won't know what to think!
8. therandombear on April 5th, 2011 6:01 pm
   

   "65% more bullet per bullet" Ingenius!
   Need more dakka dakka! And red turrets, red wunz go fastah!
9. Red on April 5th, 2011 6:09 pm
   

   *calls Aperture Science*
   Me: "um… hello, is this Aperture Science?"
   Voice: "yes, yes it is!"
   Me: "okay… um… I'd like to place an order for one Sentry Gun… any color will do"
   Voice: "okay, that'll be *mumbles* dollars sir"
   Me: "put it on my tab"
   Voice: "will do!… thanks for choosing Aperture Science, have a great day!"
   *hangs up phone*
   muahaha… I know a "baby" that this Sentry Gun can "take care" of…
   *sneaks Sentry Gun behind Justin Bieber(fag) during a concert using a cloaking device*
   Bieber(fag): "baby, baby, baby -"
   *ratatatatatatatatatatatatatat*
   <img src="http://chzgifs.files.wordpress.com/2011/02/biebershotp1.gif&quot; alt="" />
10. Mentlegen on April 5th, 2011 6:10 pm
    

    I don't want to scare those parents but…where is the goddamn baby?!
11. MassiveDamage on April 5th, 2011 6:12 pm
    

    *sees general score on the comments*

    <img src="http://mob1006.photobucket.com/albums/af190/shinkukage09/trollinthedungeon.jpg?t=1251394340"&gt;
12. Citrovc4 on April 5th, 2011 6:39 pm
    

    Id sat it would be a Ascended Meme
13. Wetmang on April 5th, 2011 7:05 pm
    

    Only approach your baby with more Crusher, they sell those too.
14. Wetmang on April 5th, 2011 7:08 pm
    

    These turrets need more Crusher…they sell those too
15. C__F on April 5th, 2011 7:11 pm
    

    Aperture does it again. They are so good, you will buy their products unless you roll a 20 on your saving throw.

    …I'll take eight of the "What Idiot Picked These" color, please.
16. TardyParty on April 5th, 2011 7:23 pm
    

    He didn't have to go into the future, I saw something similar in a Gameinformer issue about a year or so ago.
17. tmotom on April 5th, 2011 8:38 pm
    

    Me after watching the Gamestop commercial for Portal 2: What?! All I get is this dumbass roll cage that probably will be unlockable later in the story?! Damn you Gamestop!
18. Caelun_Niveus on April 5th, 2011 8:42 pm
    

    "Looks like Scott once again traveled into the future to steal our precious, precious gags! The bastard!"

    "steal our precious (thing)"

    … no I cannot think of anything else.
19. Kinockun on April 5th, 2011 9:15 pm
    

    Screw the baby, I'm using it to guard my cake.
    Companion Cube can watch the baby.
    Oh wait, I murdered him…=(
20. zeldafan8 on April 5th, 2011 9:22 pm
    

    Damn. With that kind of camouflage we'll never stand a chance!
21. TehBlueOne on April 5th, 2011 9:31 pm
    

    There's actually an ARG going on right now related to TF2 and this video has a bunch of clues in it. :v
22. EphEphEcksIII on April 5th, 2011 9:46 pm
    

    65% more bullet? So if Turret was a Sasha it would cost 660,000$ to fire for 12 seconds.
23. dope92 on April 5th, 2011 9:53 pm
    

    a little off topic but it been bugging me.

    is street fighter on the 3ds worth it?

    or should i buy mine in the summer when the other games come out?
24. Ichiinu on April 5th, 2011 10:25 pm
    

    Shawn, shame on you! You forgot to post the 30,000+ pages of the instruction manual! Let me help and put up a page for you:
    <img src="http://www.thinkwithportals.com/blog/posts/001/turretguidesamplepage.png&quot; counter="State your name">
25. BoxeyBrown on April 6th, 2011 12:04 am
    

    Who didn't?
26. BoxeyBrown on April 6th, 2011 12:06 am
    

    Dang, people really find everything nowdays…
27. Nuckel on April 6th, 2011 10:56 am
    

    Anyone else noticed the pink turret really IS the other way around?
28. HughbertEsq on April 6th, 2011 1:12 pm
    

    Portal in Episode 3 anyone?
    maybe this was why it was "delayed" so often…
29. HughbertEsq on April 6th, 2011 1:12 pm
    

    aw crap you messed up my speakers..
30. pirate_slug on April 7th, 2011 6:39 pm
    

    What sick man sends babies to fight meh!

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