There’s a reason they gave the guy so many extra lives… the odds were always stacked against him!
By TheBourgyman, submitted by Masterluigi452
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Posted by Shawn Handyside on February 11, 2011 · 2:12 PM
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Did you know the site has over 4,000 video game themed lolz?
Question: should I make a "princess is in another castle" joke, or skip it and go straight for the GARY MOTHERFUCKING OAK?
What about death cause by giant fire spiting turtle.
Suddenly, Ode to the Minions lost all of its meaning. I want to kill those asshole minions one by one damnit!!!!
Don't forget graffiti, living fireballs, missiles, getting shot, spiked enemies, magic, stampeded, pies, springs and many many other horrible deaths.
Aww, poor Bullet Bill feels left out…
Lost Death: Shot
"Resetting or Power Off The Console" -- can also kill him, and plus, there is no mole coming up at you and nagging..
"Every man dies-Not every man really lives"-William Ross Wallace
"Cause of Death: Barrel Roll"
Well, he clearly didn't press Z or R twice.
[GEDDIT?]
where are the CSI yyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh comments?!
this is a post about a character dieing, it totally fits here so.. where are they?! wtf?!
Another cause of death: time paradox
Like this:
Past: Baby Mario fell in lava
Present: Mario turns into a skeleton and dies
Honestly, I'd prefer any of those deaths to the black hole one. It's never happened to me before, but I'm pretty sure that having all of your molecules torn apart and stretched out during spaghettification is slightly painful.
Looks like he couldn't…
*puts on sunglasses*
get a 1up.
Immmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwefulllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
Now compare the amount of times Mario dies to the amount of deaths for Bowser in an average Mario game
WHO REALLY IS THE WINNER HERE
All that, and he never gets some.
It must suck to be a Nintendo protagonist.
You figured after dying so many times, some of the attention would go to that green guy.
Bullied to death?? He needs to call Kids Help Phone.
When you fall down a bottomless pit, you die of starvation.
They forgot being Falcon Punched!
Incidentally, my actual home (not lab, nor "vacation" one) has all these as traps (although the time out and pushed out of stage ones are a bit more… well the have much more spectacular results).
I normally deactivate them when I invite friends over.
Man, I am seriously reconsidering my plumbing career path now…
I think that is still falls under "Shell".
what about blunt force trauma by hammer bros.?
It's only awsome to be a Microsoft protagonist
DO A BARREL ROLL
yes sir!
*blows up*
Anyone else notice that Weegee was the one that got eaten by the fish?
All the time.
Unless you're talking about when I leave them on with friends coming over, for which I have a variety of answers.
-When I'm under quota of backstabbing someone close to me
-When they turn out to be the hero or are working with them
-When they just got the raise/promotion/funding I was after
-When they have displeased me/failed me for the last time
-When I forget to turn them off
-When I'm too lazy to turn them off
-When they are coming over to fulfill their backstab quota
-When I'm testing their supersoldier abilities
-When I'm bored
This makes me cry at all of the times ive died in mario…sniff…*goes to corner and crys*
Blown away and spaced out… also the side effects of eating any mushroom that you find lying in a mystery box. So remember kids, don't eat strange food from random yellow boxes that are floating in the air!
They really need to include this on "1,000 Ways to Die" on SpikeTV. Mario would fit in quite nicely!
What about being Falcon Punched?!? (or for that matter, anything SSB-related)
He's got 99 problems, but…a normal goomba isn't one. Go figure.
(PS WHERE IS THE FIRE WHEEL TOO)
It's a tough life being a plumber.
Well lets see if Sonic can rival this.
Drowned (With lovely drowning music for it)
Killed by Spikes
Killed by Spikes on a robot
Coconut thrown by robot monkey
The robot monkey itself
A crazy ladybug or warthog robot runs into him
Shot down by killer wasp
Giant wrecking ball to the face
Gravity reversals (Both to Sonic and a giant metal ball)
Falling down a bottomless pit
Unable to swim out of a bottomless sea
Falling into space
MASTER EMERALD HYPER BEAAAAM
Grabbed by normal Robotnik grabber
Crushed by giant Robotnik claw
Drill up the ass
Running into a spiked log
Cut in half by metal sonic…twice…
Tails stealing the ring you needed before being hit by laser
Electrocution by final boss
TIME OVAH WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
FOREST FIRE
Whirlpool
Apocalypse due to flames of disaster
Hyper Metal Sonic
GET RED SPHERE
Gambling Addiction Time Over
Gambling Addiction Robotnik Kill
THOSE F*CKING DRUMS
Poisonous water
Oil field
Lava
Freezing to death
Being shot out of a cannon
Crushing Blocks
Crushing Ice
That spiked thing that just floats slowly toward you…That somehow always kills you
SPIKES—oh wait they're fake…on a robot…OH CRAP FIREBALL
Falling Debris
Ice Spikes
Falling into the atmosphere
Flame Snot (I really don't know why Robotnik designed this.)
LAZORS
Well what do you know. HE DOES!
Kenny would be proud.
Do you really die from falling in a bottomless pit?
Because you won't reach the bottom.
wolf: even though thats a good idea… I CAN'T LET YOU DO THAT! … Instead I will go my self! me: thank god hes gone… ugh why do I have a bad feeling about this… HEY MY SNAPPLE! '>_> let me guess…
… but a princess ain't one.
Do my eye deceive me, A non-Pokemon related submission topping "Scyther can not learn FLY!".
Must have one hell of a life insurance plan
Ah the Edigdius Bordeium, or, in layman's terms, The Corner.
very rare in nature, usually found in the border of it's habitat, it is a silent killer.
Where's "First Goomba from World 1-1"?
For 25 years of princess saving, Mario sure did earn a lot of bruises from here and there!
Super Mario Bros. forever!
Anyone else notice that Luigi is the one being eaten?
Anyone noticed it's Luigi being eaten by the fish?
They forgot death by SnuSnu
Damn you, Mario-Squared Galaxy! DAMN YOU TO HELL!
Deathcause: Barrel roll. Thats awesome :D
Dark matter? What game was that?
aahhhhhh no more joke…