Sunday, April 06, 2025


THE RAPE TRAIN HAS NO BRAKES!!!!

RED Team is getting steamrolled… literally!
By William R.

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Posted by Shawn Handyside on January 15, 2011 · 6:47 AM 
FAILLAMENOT BADPRETTY GOODAWESOME (308 votes, average: 4.48 out of 5)
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Categories:
Moving Violations, PC, Playstation, Smashy Smashy, Team Fortress 2, Valve Software, Xbox 360

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How is Scout gonna fit that train into his
...
.....
.......OHHHHHH
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5 replies · active 742 weeks ago
Looks like Engineer fixed the practical problem of cart not moving self.
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1 reply · active 742 weeks ago
Guess BLU team needs to 'train' a bit more.
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5 replies · active 742 weeks ago
HE'S RIDIN' IN YO DUSTBOWLS, HE'S GIBBING YO TEAMMATES UP
TRYIN' TO RAPE EM SO YOU NEED TO
HIDE YO SCOUTS, HIDE YO SPY
HIDE YO SCOUTS, HIDE YO SPY
HIDE YO SCOUTS, HIDE YO SPY
AND HIDE YO MEDICS CUZ HE'S RAPIN' ERRBODY OUT HERE.
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1 reply · active 741 weeks ago
Yup and it gets about ten-thousand miles to the soul... I mean the gallon.
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1 reply · active 742 weeks ago
It costs 400,000 dollars to keep train going...for twelve seconds.

Alt: WHAT SICK MAN TEACH ENGINEER HOW TO PUSH CART.
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Scout: Ow! What the hell was that?
Engineer: (in disbelief) That... was supposed to crush you.
Scout: Heavy, did you see it? His power! He can-
Heavy: Stop time?
Scout: -summon steamrollers!
Heavy: Y-You sure about that?
Scout: Positive!
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1 reply · active 742 weeks ago
It may not have brakes, but it sure has some curves, baby.
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1 reply · active 736 weeks ago
"Hey, dummy!" the Engineer shouted from his rape train. "Are you retarded or just plain stupid?!" Heavy turned to me and said, "Just run away, coward." The Engineer fired up the rape train and began his pursuit. "Run, Scout! Run away! Hurry!" shouted the Soldier just before getting hit by the rape train.

"Look out, dummy! I'm gonna get you!" taunted the Engineer, "Run, Scout, run! Run, Scout!" shouted the Demo with a look of fear in his eye. The Engineer frustratedly yelled out, "Come back here, you!" but I was too fast for him. Now you wouldn't believe me if I told you, but I could run like the wind blows. From that day on, if I was ever going somewhere, I was running!
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7 replies · active 742 weeks ago
"Hey look buddy, I'm an Engineer, that means I solve problems. Not problems like 'What is beauty?', because that would fall within the purview of your conundrums of philosophy. I solve practical problems. Fr'instance...How am I going to stop some big mean mother hubbard from tearing me a structurally superfluous new behind? The answer...use a gun. And if that don't work...use nuke."
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1 reply · active 742 weeks ago
what IS the red heavy doing with sasha that is so conveniantly hidden behind the rocket fire?
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4 replies · active 742 weeks ago
Now the question is: Is engie yelling the caption as a battle cry? or is the red team yelling it in realization and fear?
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1 reply · active 741 weeks ago
In one end, out the other.
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Rails? where we're going we won't need rails!
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Scout: "Team scramble, TEAM SCRAMBLE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD TEAM SCRAMBLE!"
Engie: "....NOPE."
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Scouts gonna need alot of lube for that one.
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THE TAPE BRAIN HAS NO RAKES.
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And the only thing they needed to do was step away from the rails... Silly Wankas
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And why is the entire RED team standing in the direct path of the runaway suppository bomb-cart?

Idiots.
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1 reply · active 742 weeks ago
CART IZ NOT STOPPING!
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The rape train ain't stoppin' for no one,
The rape train never gonna be done,
Can't run, can't hide, can't cover your rear,
can't bargain, can't plea since it can't even hear,
LET'S ALL RIDE THE RAPE TRAIN TONIGHT!

Rape train runs from 12 to 10,
Runnin' express all the way to Bend,
Speeding by at 75,
No time to make a beat or a jive,
LET"S GO RIDE THE RAPE TRAIN TONIGHT!!!

*Engie Guitar solo*
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Run virgin scout run! Im coming for you!
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It does, however, have a huge-
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1 reply · active 742 weeks ago
Just need at least 5 Heavies stuck on it and BLU is good to go.
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The forced intercourse locimotice is not currently equipt with a proper stopping mechanisim and thus is able to physicaly anihalate the opposing force on the opposite color spectrum.
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This is sorta disturbing yet funny.
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Needs more Ozzy Osbourne.
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YEEEEEEEE-HAWWWWWWW!
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Rape Train... Don't stop there... Rape Train.... Don't stop...

Rape train don't stop there anymore.
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would have been better with lil' chew chew.
it's a big angry train that eats people
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Sadly, you cannot remove the breaks in a real match. Other wise, I would win every time.
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ENGIEZ IN UR SPAWN
MODDING UR BOMBCART
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CARD GAMES ON ROCKET POWERED BOMBS
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Rape Train Rape Train last stop... YOUR ASS!
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I'm disappointed that I'm not at least credited with submitting this...
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1 reply · active 742 weeks ago

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