Wednesday, April 23, 2025


I SPENT MY WHOLE LIFE RESEARCHING POKEMON, TAKE MY POKEDEX WITH YOU. IT'S EMPTY

I mean, you could have AT LEAST put Bulbasaur, Squirtle and Charmander in there… they’re sitting RIGHT THERE on the table!
By Darth_Destro

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Posted by Shawn Handyside on November 25, 2010 · 12:09 AM 
FAILLAMENOT BADPRETTY GOODAWESOME (447 votes, average: 4.77 out of 5)
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Categories:
Advice Meme, Irony, Nintendo, Pokémon

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"Becoming a Pokémon Professor and doing your job", by Professor Motherfu**ing (literally) Oak:

1- Wear a lab coat (you are automatically a Professor!).
2- Find out kids with single mothers.
3- Ask their gender.
4- Send then to a world trip so they can do your job and their mothers stay at home. Alone.
5- ????
6- DOUBLE PROFIT!!!

Oak face
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11 replies · active 751 weeks ago
And you just KNOW his grandson has like 2500 entries in his.
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8 replies · active 751 weeks ago
it's empty... yet it knows EVERYTHING about a pokemon once it is caught... FUCKING POKEDEXES, HOW DO THEY WORK?
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9 replies · active 751 weeks ago
His Pornodex, on the other hand, is completely full.
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5 replies · active 751 weeks ago
Oak: Now if you hit that button, all of your personal data shows up along with private facts.
Ash: Ooo awesome! so it did that automatically when i touched it??
Oak: What kind of estrange world do you think we.. i mean yes. that technology totally exists.
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Red: Prof. Oak, what exactly are you a professor of?
Oak: Political Science.

^
This would explain everything
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5 replies · active 751 weeks ago
Well, he never said what he was researching about Pokemon.
*Waggles eyebrows*
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You want to know why it is empty? Because you aren't Gary Motherfucking Oak!
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1 reply · active 751 weeks ago
Honestly, I think the whole fill the pokedex quest is actually a trick on the researcher's part to get the young trainers to form a strong and diverse team of pokemon. Some of the tidbits of information you get when you catch a pokemon sound like something a researcher would spend a long time observing.
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What's that? You filled up the entire Pokedex? Good job! Now do it again three times!

Wait what? Fifth generation! Make that once more!

What? You finished the Pokedex of all five generations? Hooray! Now take this certificate! I'll just nab all the credit for it.
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and the 3 pokemon on his desk that he's raised for so many years? yeah they're still on level 1
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5 replies · active 751 weeks ago
CORRECTION.

It's not Oak's own personal pokedex he hands out to young trainers starting their journey, he gives out brand new pokedexes. Oak may very well (though probably doesn't) have a pokedex stuffed full of lovely pokemon info...but there's no fun in handing a systematic analysis of every pokemon discovered, including different forms and location, to young, upcoming, nubile trainer now is there?
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2 replies · active 751 weeks ago
It's a pretty clever plan to have some alone time with your single mother.

I mean, mothers must be worried sick about their child who hasn't come home for umteen days
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Hmm I wonder who took the other pokedex with all the entries in....oh wait, could it be.......?

GODDAMN GARY MOTHERF***ING OAK!!!!!1!!!111111one!
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Well of course it's empty; Oak hardly ever goes outside!
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5 replies · active 751 weeks ago
And why the hell not? He's getting his job done for him for free using child labor and calling it a "pokemon journey", and all it costs him are a pokemon and a pokedex. What's in it for you, you ask? Well besides those things you do essentially turn into the most devestatingly unstoppable force in the world by the end of your journey, hell, the universe depending on whether or not you caught Dialga or Palkia.
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Looks like Alzheimer's has finally caught up to Prof. Oak.
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2 replies · active 751 weeks ago
Worst. Professors. EVER.
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2 replies · active 751 weeks ago
Oh no the pokedex is empty?!
*Gameshark*
*R+L+Start*
*Full pokedex* http://www.threadbombing.com/data/media/13/75378-...
Problem Oak?
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Get Pokédex: Realize it runs on AA batteries.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU--
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in this sense, Professor Oak is more villainous than Dou- I mean Gary (Motherfucking) Oak is. It was a terrific cover up; but the secret has been revealed
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The pokedex knows about every pokemon though, maybe it's just more of a challenge...
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Pokemon: A summary

Turn on game and begin for the first time.
Get stupid speech from the professor that never tells you anything diffrent.
Insert wrong time and find out you cant change it later.
Meet your own mother.
Try to leave town but get stopped because there are dangerous birds and rats out there and it's dangerous to go alone.
Get starter from professor.
Rival gets better one.
Spend rest of game gathering information about pokemon everyone already knows about even though the information should already be in your pokedex. It is the latest technology pokemon encyclopedia after all.
Defeat the Elite four and the champion and become a pokemon master. Wow, that wasnt hard. What the hell has Ash been doign all this time?
Three years later, repeat the process as someone else in a diffrent country that you didnt know existed, even though they are perfectly aware of your old region and it's pokemon.
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Oak: Oh, and is your mom still single?
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AKA Im an asshole. Deal with it
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People really think it's empty rather than just unlocking available infos on new ecounters for added motivation?
Then again as a not-fan I can't recall what it says when a new species shows up... This way or the other we can surely agree that Integrity has no meaning to the developers of this franchise...
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SOMETHING OAK SAID/DID

SOMETHING ELSE OAK SAID/DID THAT CONTRADICTS PREVIOUS STATEMENT/ACTION

Am I hilarious yet?
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1 reply · active 751 weeks ago

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