Wednesday, February 19, 2025


DUKE NUKEM - HE CAME TO KICK ASS AND BLOW BUBBLE GUM

In all fairness, he buys his gum by the pallet at Costco.
Still… there’s fashionably late, and then there’s FASHIONABLY LATE.
By Matt G-raffe

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Posted by Shawn Handyside on September 6, 2010 · 6:27 PM 
FAILLAMENOT BADPRETTY GOODAWESOME (215 votes, average: 3.80 out of 5)
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Categories:
Duke Nukem, Motivational, PC, Playstation, Strike A Pose, Too Much Free Time, Xbox 360

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Who's bright idea was it to let Duke test out the prototype for Stride Gum?
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11 replies · active 754 weeks ago
So, Duke Nukem, Chuck Norris, Captain Falcon, Bang Shishigami, Bruce Campbell, The Most Interesting Man in the World, and That Guy from the Old Spice Commercials walk into a bar.....
This isn't a setup for a joke, this actually happened, and the resulting manliness caused what scientists have called "The Big Bang"
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11 replies · active 751 weeks ago
Isnt the quote "Im here to kick ass and CHEW bubble gum..."?
Chew not Blow.
COME ON TROLLS. IM READY FOR YOU
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8 replies · active 754 weeks ago
I came...

to kick ass and chew bubble gum.
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6 replies · active 754 weeks ago
I leave the internet for a week and Duke Nukem Forever gets confirmed.
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9 replies · active 754 weeks ago
.... this seems fammilliar...

...

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3 replies · active 753 weeks ago
Doesn't he say "chew" not "blow"?

Anyway, I'm not the only person that lost all interest in this game... congrats, 3D realms. You screwed the pooch.
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Since Duke Nukem Forever was first announced, Mario has appeared in over 58 video games. Seriously.
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1 reply · active 754 weeks ago
3D Realms: Spends 12 years working on Duke Nukem Forever and is unable to finish even half of it.

Gearbox: Finishes Duke Nukem Forever immediately after getting it, releases a demo, and promises the game to be released next year.

Holy shit, 3D Realms is incompetent.
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12 replies · active 754 weeks ago
13 years worth of gum and that for just how long it took read the caption!
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Developers: "Yes! We have the basic concept for Duke Nukem Forever! It will now come out on the PS1! ...Oh, those are out of date? Fine then, PS2! ...Those are old too? Damn it!"
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Gordon Freeman is jealous.
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6 replies · active 754 weeks ago
It's ok guys, they will finally release the new game... for Play Station 1
Whoever wants a new console version will have to wait some more years
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Duke's the man about town.

Kickin' ass, takin' names, chewin' gum, AIN'T NO GUM!

Kickin' names, chewin' ass.
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Well, if Starcraft II can finally come out after 11 years, there's hope for Duke yet.
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See gum used to be like 50 cents or sometimes even 25 cents, but no no candy companies are charging 1.25 for a measly package of the stuff.

Dukes not settling for those outrageous prices.
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Recipe for Duke Nukem Forever:

1 part lazy development company
3 engines
3 parts machismo
20 pounds of cheesy one liners
Awesome Weaponary
ALIENS!
1 not-lazy development company
1 lawsuit
Babes, as much as you need to taste

Combine ingredients in gaming society for 13 years. Serve nuclear-fire hot.
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This probably made Gabe Newell do a double take.
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<Insert 'X happened while DNF was in development' joke here>
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2 replies · active 754 weeks ago
There's gonna be a joke in the game parodying the long development time.
I fucking called it.
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Duke Nukem is so badass... he can kick with both his feet AND STILL WALK AROUND.
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I've liked Gearbox ever since Half life opposing force. And 2K have always had some good games.
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Thought this was Black Mesa Source for a second.

Oh wait.
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Well that's what you need to do if you want record sales on release day. 'Develop' a game for 13 years, and send a company plummeting into liquidation during the process.

Disney's Epic Mickey. Prof. Layton of Level-5. Take note.
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Is it bad that I think that this might actually be good if it comes out next year?
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Show of hands, who honestly thinks this will actually be released and this isn't just another bait and switch. *conspiciously keeps hand down*
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Sometimes I even amaze myself . . .
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Duke Nukem ForNever. Yeah, that's what it is. They changed engine of the game so many times earlier, that even when they reanounced it I still don't believe it will be released...
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