Wednesday, May 07, 2025


Saving video game princesses isn’t nearly as fun as they made it seem when I was a kid!
By StudioJoho

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Posted by Shawn Handyside on May 3, 2010 · 10:14 PM 
FAILLAMENOT BADPRETTY GOODAWESOME (428 votes, average: 4.76 out of 5)
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Categories:
Depressing, Irony, Kung-Fu, Ninjas, Retro, Robots, Secret Items, Serious Business, True Love, Uncategorized, Video Clips

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Most FPS games are not like this.

However, Team Fortress 2 has a woman you must satisfy 24/7 by killing other men for a living and pushing a bomb cart for a suicide bombing.

The Announcer is a cruel, cruel mistress.
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Well excuuuuuuuuuuuse me, princess!
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1 reply · active 782 weeks ago
If you having princess problems, I feel bad for you son.
I got 99 problems, but a damsel ain't one.
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1 reply · active 783 weeks ago
I aint saying she a gold digger
But she aint messing with no broke ninjas
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1 reply · active 783 weeks ago
Bitchy materialistic relationship of 1 year, squeezed into less than 6 minutes. If a women seems to keep asking you to buy crap with YOUR money, it should be obvious what her intents are.
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2 replies · active 771 weeks ago
That's why Mario always lets Bowser kidnap Peach when he's out of coins...
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Got only one problem but the bitch is one.

Talking about the dog of course. You people you.
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Goes to show... money doesn't buy happiness... and it may even cost you one of your lives.
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Man, women can be a royal pain.
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1 reply · active 771 weeks ago
Sorry baby, but MY princess is in another castle!
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i guess giving the key to the rich guy was the real mission

serves you for skipping the stage briefing
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And that's how the dating sim genre has started.
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Time for level 2!
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3 replies · active 782 weeks ago
The moral of the story: If you're a martial arts master that lives in a tree, you're destined to be single.
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great! now for stage 2...
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And that is why we never pick fights with the shop keepers! They mean business and will take your woman!
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1 reply · active 782 weeks ago
650 - 500 = 100 ... i think he just got scamed
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I guess there's now a reason why the princess would always be in another castle.
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This is why I stick with games that don't have princesses.
*goes to play Sonic*
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5 replies · active 728 weeks ago
its funny cause she's a WHORE! seriously after the first few items that were over 200 i would just start beating her down....then.....well I'd decide what to do with her after she's unconscious.... giggity
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9 replies · active 782 weeks ago
Some spoiled princess....
Oh well, most princesses are spoiled anyways...
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Let's see if I remember the equation right...

Money is the Root of Evil
Women = Time * Money
Women = Money^2 (Money squared)
And lastly... Women = Evil
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3 replies · active 783 weeks ago
This is why realism and video games don't mix.
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The only winning move in love is not to love.
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lol
:insert witty comment here:
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5 replies · active 783 weeks ago
Well, I've got two things to say:
First of all, this is why Mario never asks for more than a kiss.

Second, the emails you get about the foreign princess are true, but this is the result, so you can continue to mark them as spam.
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This is why I only date Princes with big wallets.

...what?
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