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falcon’s family planning

Falcon Family Planning… helping you to solve your teen pregnancy!
By reaperfox

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Posted by Shawn Handyside on December 19, 2009 · 9:42 AM 
FAILLAMENOT BADPRETTY GOODAWESOME (236 votes, average: 4.53 out of 5)
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Categories:
Artistic, Bad Ideas, F-Zero, Health & Fitness, Nintendo, Sequential Art, Serious Business

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Is your Daughter teen pregnant?
HYES!
Is you nose not embedded 2 inches into your skull?
HYES!
Then you need Falcon's Family planing, where our motto is "If you got something raunch, you need a PAWNCH!"
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17 replies · active 794 weeks ago
He also sells Falcon condoms, made entirely out of fire. Kills sperm on contact.
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1 reply · active 795 weeks ago
Pssh, Captain Falcon doesn't exist.

FIRST!
EERST!
D'ABORD!
ZUERST!
πρώτα!
最初に!
첫째로!
во первых!
primero!
首先!
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17 replies · active 794 weeks ago
Captain Falcon's side-jobs include:
Family Planner
Bouncer
God
Bar Owner
He is also the current owner of the new "Falcon Punch" berverage line.

This also applies to Wolf O Donnell, who has the current side-jobs of:
Lawyer (Take THAT Phoniex!)
Rivel Bar Owner
Airplane Pilot (Doing Barrel Rolls and all that crap...)
Devil

Any others that I should add to this fantabulous list? ...And NO Mario! he would take forever to list all his side-jobs...
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14 replies · active 794 weeks ago
I didn't know Captain Falcon had a side job. Then again, I bet its an excuse to Falcon Punch everyone.
... I approve.
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8 replies · active 795 weeks ago
Falcon...PLAN!
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Falcon Punch 100% effective
Abstinence only 99.99% effective (just ask the virgin Mary)
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3 replies · active 794 weeks ago
After this was opened teen pregnancy rates plummeted
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1 reply · active 795 weeks ago
I would have thought Luigi would be Charlie Brown.
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2 replies · active 795 weeks ago
As soon as I saw this, the first thing that hit my mind was Charlie Brown...AMIRITE!?
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10 replies · active 795 weeks ago
There's a little Captain in everyone.
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6 replies · active 794 weeks ago
It's a trap!
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FALCON... PROTECTION!!
these are better than condoms, or pills, these things Falcon PUNCH the sperm Before (or after) it gets to the womb!
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2 replies · active 795 weeks ago
Lame.
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SHOW ME YOUR CROTCH
SHOW ME HIS
SHOW ME HOW YOU MOVE
LET ME SHOW YOU HOW I MOVE
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If Falcon is Lucy, then who, dare I ask, is Schroeder? Or Charlie Brown, for that matter?
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2 replies · active 795 weeks ago
Wolf's methods are a bit less painful. We just don't let him do that, *cock blocks*, and that's that! Though it seems this method is more popular amongst women for some reason.
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2 replies · active 795 weeks ago
I think the only "Planning" he'll do is a Falcon pawnch!
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Falcon once again proves that a little FALCON PAWNCH solves everything
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I hear he's also good dealing with suppressed memories and fears.
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I'm not like your normal abortionist....
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