PFFT, YOU CALL THIS FINAL FANTASY? YOUR SWORD IS ABOUT FIVE FEET TOO SHORT!

Seriously though, you’re going to take out a monster that big with THAT thing?
…Good luck Final Fantasy XIII hero!
Also you may want to pick up some more zippers and spikey hair next time you’re out…

PFFT, YOU CALL THIS FINAL FANTASY?

Posted by Shawn Handyside on December 14, 2009 · 11:28 PM

(254 votes, average: 4.47 out of 5)

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Categories:
Bad Ideas, Final Fantasy, Playstation, Square Enix, Swordplay, Tips & Tricks, Xbox 360

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+24 Vote up Vote down

GullibleGregory 65p · 803 weeks ago

Meybe the sword expands when excited in battle...

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4 replies · active 803 weeks ago

+17 Vote up Vote down

Vabolo 118p · 803 weeks ago

Her sword turns into a gun. Your argument is invalid.

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4 replies · active 710 weeks ago

+13 Vote up Vote down

Leo E. 114p · 803 weeks ago

Back in Final Fantasy 1, we didn't have no fancy-shmancy ridiculously big swords. All we had was a knife and a spell for the whole team! And the mages had to share the spell!

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5 replies · active 803 weeks ago

+12 Vote up Vote down

SnowKatana 75p · 803 weeks ago

Why does she need a huge ten foot sword?
She is a girl so she doesn't have to compensate for a small dick.

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3 replies · active 803 weeks ago

+10 Vote up Vote down

Chozothebozo 69p · 803 weeks ago

YOU CALL THAT FINAL FANTASY? YOU ARE ABOUT 50 BELTS TOO SHORT!

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4 replies · active 803 weeks ago

+9 Vote up Vote down

Zink120 93p · 803 weeks ago

I feel sorry for the monster. He's blatantly got some proper street cret. Got tattoos all over him, nice bracelet too. And he's gonna get all cut up just for being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
*sighs*
...
(cue Nobody Thinks About the Minions Anymore)

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2 replies · active 803 weeks ago

+7 Vote up Vote down

Fmarulz 79p · 803 weeks ago

In shadow of the colossus he was with a sword a bow, unlimited arrows and a horse VS 16 giants colossus that where over many time bigger than he was and YOU ARE COMPLAINING OVER THAT LITTLE THING ???

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13 replies · active 802 weeks ago

+7 Vote up Vote down

RyderJ 71p · 803 weeks ago

Well, I suppose this just means that man has much more confidence in the size of his penis than-

oh.

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1 reply · active 803 weeks ago

+6 Vote up Vote down

DClaw 83p · 803 weeks ago

About time there's a Final Fantasy without characters overcompensating!
I finally got one added to my list of normal sized sword wielding chacters!

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1 reply · active 803 weeks ago

+6 Vote up Vote down

Nick Soapdish 110p · 803 weeks ago

This is just what happens when girls try a real life meeting with people they chat to on the internet.
Although alarm bells probably should have rang when he replied to her a/s/l question with 200 / Behemoth / random encounter in grass field and destroyed city.

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2 replies · active 803 weeks ago

+5 Vote up Vote down

Ataeru 91p · 803 weeks ago

so what if FFXIII wants to have almost normal looking characters.
i like the change of it.

yah lightning for differencing from the pack!

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+5 Vote up Vote down

Ataeru 91p · 803 weeks ago

it may be short by cloud standards
but it will slice you like butter if you mess with her, or her sister!(sarah) or her soon to be brother in law... (snow)

which she hates in the beginning of the game because he caused her to be crystalized, and he was blaming him self for not trying hard enough even though he did the best he could. but later in the game she accepts him as a brother, and he does care for sarah as much as lightning cares for her.

*deep breathing*
vaguely of course!

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2 replies · active 803 weeks ago

+5 Vote up Vote down

Jet_Sparrow 82p · 803 weeks ago

Shawn's comment about spiky hair and zippers was the crowning moment of funny.

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1 reply · active 803 weeks ago

+5 Vote up Vote down

Lumanaru 34p · 803 weeks ago

The protaganist also isn't whiny/brooding enough. :3

Bonus points if we can make children cry in XIII, like in Crisis Core.

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+4 Vote up Vote down

SolidScientist 101p · 803 weeks ago

What you don't realize is that this particular monster isn't roaring. It's actually erupting into raucous laughter over such a miniscule blade.

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+4 Vote up Vote down

clfreak 60p · 803 weeks ago

Personally I'd rather tame the creature rather than kill it, thus weaponry is adequate.

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1 reply · active 803 weeks ago

+4 Vote up Vote down

ImmaLion 51p · 803 weeks ago

The Final Fantasy rules are superseding the rules about female characters!
The developer's brain short-circuited.
He probably went from having the character with 6 layers of leather clothing with tens of thousands of BELTANZIPPERS and a sword that would make a lamp post look tiny to having the same character using a thong only, killing the monsters with a gaze of it's huge tits alone or something.

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+4 Vote up Vote down

Badonk 105p · 803 weeks ago

That's what she said!

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10 replies · active 803 weeks ago

+4 Vote up Vote down

deleted2212937 91p · 803 weeks ago

So there's this giant enemy Thingy...

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7 replies · active 803 weeks ago

+3 Vote up Vote down

Leo E. 114p · 803 weeks ago

Whew, for a second I thought they had actually changed something...
http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/finalfantasy/im...

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1 reply · active 803 weeks ago

+3 Vote up Vote down

Zabrio 86p · 803 weeks ago

you mean she's using a normal sized weapon and a gunblade that is an actual gun wearing non skimpy clothes o.o BLASPHEMY! any FF after 7 is supposed to have 10ft swords 50+ belts and zippers and non skimpy clothes >:O

I do have to say though i really like the direction they are taking with this game

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+3 Vote up Vote down

JboneDRS 70p · 803 weeks ago

Main character... no big sword... equals! - brain explodes -

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+3 Vote up Vote down

Leo E. 114p · 803 weeks ago

Props to her, though, for not finding 10-foot-long swords necessary. I just may pick this game up now.

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+3 Vote up Vote down

Vabolo 118p · 803 weeks ago

Use meteor wisely!

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+3 Vote up Vote down

pinecone2654 60p · 803 weeks ago

He needs the sword from 3D Block Heroes O_O

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+3 Vote up Vote down

Taiho 86p · 803 weeks ago

Her sword is tiny, just like her boobs.

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10 replies · active 803 weeks ago

+2 Vote up Vote down

MorningMoon 97p · 803 weeks ago

Wait, her breasts aren't exposed nor are they the size of her head, and is wearing shorts instead of just panties, are you sure this is Final Fantasy, Shawn?

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5 replies · active 803 weeks ago

+2 Vote up Vote down

VyseRogueKing 103p · 803 weeks ago

It's 2 feet too thin as well... such a disgrace to final fantasy. What next? An (adult) female character with no sex appeal? I'm starting to see that in the pic as well. *sniff* Hold me Lulu. (yeah that's right not Tifa)

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4 replies · active 803 weeks ago

+1 Vote up Vote down

Acrazymonke 93p · 803 weeks ago

but its a girl sooo...

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11 replies · active 803 weeks ago

-1 Vote up Vote down

bPhimmasone 1p · 803 weeks ago

Tits or GTFO.

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3 replies · active 803 weeks ago

-26 Vote up Vote down

Colonel_Obvious -93p · 803 weeks ago

....really? That's an enemy? It doesn't live on the moon, is over 9000 feet tall, spawn more enemies, isn't made of elements, can't kill you with one hit, doesn't have a rediculously large ammount of hp, doesn't require a ludicrously long sequence to get to, and IT DOESN'T HAVE WINGS!!! New FF is weak.
~*~
FIRST!!!!

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11 replies · active 803 weeks ago

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