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Can’t let you, Do the Mario! Lou Albano (1933 - 2009)

Heya pizannos! It’s the Super Mario Bros. Super Show!
…Poor Lou, he’s “Doin’ The Mario” up in heaven now.
By Nick Soapdish

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Can’t let you, Do the Mario!

Posted by Shawn Handyside on October 21, 2009 · 11:19 PM

FAIL

LAME

NOT BAD

PRETTY GOOD

AWESOME

(177 votes, average: 3.16 out of 5)

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Categories:
Can't Let You Do That, Depressing, Lords of the Dance, Nintendo, StarFox, Super Mario Bros, TV Shows

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+52 Vote up Vote down

Link_09 69p · 810 weeks ago

Lou Albano layed on his deathbed with his friends and relatives beside him. In the sombre atmosphere that hung over the room like a Koopa Kid, none of Lou's companions could hold back the tears. Holding the hand of his beloved, he realises his time is drawing near. A smile slowly creeps across his weakened face, he wants to leave this younger generation with what they were fond of most- he's in no condition to wrestle, but he can still do the Mario. He begins to slowly swing his arms from side to side, and when he starts to struggle, his companions quickly come to aid him. In his last breaths, he realises what he has to do, quiet whisper emits from the mouth of this gentle giant, "Swing your arms... from side to side, come on... it's time to go..." Fearing the worst, his friends continue in unison, "Do the Mario!" Now something can be heard from Lou, quieter than a whisper, barely more than a breath, "Take one step...", a quick response, "And then again", and somehow, everyone is at ease. There's not a hint of sadness in the air, and the gathering of friends and relatives becomes a circle of joy, "Let's do the Mario, all together now!"

But in spite of this, a sharp silence falls upon the room, only to be lifted by Lou's response with a comforting, if quiet, "You got it!... It's the Mario!" He isn't aware of it, but everyone else can see it, his eyes are clouding over, he is growing short of breath, but the Captain battles on. "Do the... Mario! Swing... your... arms... from side... to side..."

Everyone can do nothing but listen to this great man's last words as they help him slowly, soothingly, swing his arms. "Come on...", his arms simply go limp, he has finally cought on that this is it. His final show. Captain Lou Albano's got to usher in a new generation. He gasps desperately to get his last words out, strangely appropriate to both him and his adoring audience, "It's... time... to go..."

;_;

Reply

24 replies · active 808 weeks ago

+10 Vote up Vote down

Badonk 105p · 810 weeks ago

Cant let you do that!
Don't swing your arms from side to side
Go away everybody, cant let you do that!
Don't take one step or back again
Cant let you do that! All together now!
you got it!
Cant let you do that!
Don't swing your arms from side to side
Go away everybody, cant let you do that!
Don't take one step or back again
Cant let you do that! All together now!
you got it!
Cant let you do that!

JUST LIKE THAAAAAT!

Reply

+10 Vote up Vote down

OrionX 91p · 810 weeks ago

DO THE MARIO! (Press Z or R twice)

Reply

+9 Vote up Vote down

Nick Soapdish 110p · 810 weeks ago

HA HA HA, I am a horrible human being.

Reply

13 replies · active 808 weeks ago

+7 Vote up Vote down

Daifuku 113p · 810 weeks ago

Lou, you were indeed a legend in your own rights. Halolz salutes you!

Reply

4 replies · active 801 weeks ago

+6 Vote up Vote down

MrRaccoon 106p · 810 weeks ago

What the hell Wolf! DX
Touch one more of my chilhood memories, just one more, and I'll fucking RIOT THE CRAP OUTTA YOU!!!!

*this ranting was brought to you by a pissed off guy*

Reply

10 replies · active 810 weeks ago

+4 Vote up Vote down

Sir_McCloud 47p · 810 weeks ago

I remember this man at the end of each and every one of the shows. annoying as he was, I still remember him. RIP LOU (T_T)

Reply

+4 Vote up Vote down

MrRaccoon 106p · 810 weeks ago

Did all comments just dissapeared?!
:O
HACK!

Reply

1 reply · active 810 weeks ago

+4 Vote up Vote down

AquaLink 69p · 810 weeks ago

what's kinda scary is that there's a guy in my school whose name is Lou Albano. i doubt he's any relation, but maybe it's worth a look. if he weren't so damn CREEPY i'd be more likely to ask

Reply

1 reply · active 810 weeks ago

+4 Vote up Vote down

MorningMoon 97p · 810 weeks ago

Another one died? is this the start of the end of the world? D:

Reply

11 replies · active 808 weeks ago

+4 Vote up Vote down

deleted8254443 78p · 810 weeks ago

DO THE MARIO IS NOT A NOUN.

ALSO, WINDMILLS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY.

GOOD NIGHT.

Reply

10 replies · active 808 weeks ago

+3 Vote up Vote down

Hareoic 88p · 810 weeks ago

CAN'T LET YOU TAINT MY NOSTALGIA, STAR WOLF

*punt*

Reply

2 replies · active 810 weeks ago

+3 Vote up Vote down

deleted8824092 102p · 810 weeks ago

I wonder if he got Mama Luigi too.

Reply

14 replies · active 810 weeks ago

+2 Vote up Vote down

Dracojounin7 88p · 808 weeks ago

If any video game line fits Lou Albano, this is it:

YOU DESERVE A MEDAL!

(EDIT: Wow, I'm at level 50 e-peen from 43 2 hours ago!)

Reply

+2 Vote up Vote down

Cheat2Win 82p · 810 weeks ago

Wolf tried to market "Do the Wolf" but it was unsuccessful as anyone who tried to learn it would be prevented from doing so.

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+1 Vote up Vote down

BoardBreaker93 51p · 810 weeks ago

Dude...A moment of silence for the Great Lou Albano....He will be missed.

Reply

+1 Vote up Vote down

VGGeek · 810 weeks ago

GAME OVER
Player Name
---L.O.U.---
Insert (1) more coins

Reply

+1 Vote up Vote down

TheRedGrunt 75p · 810 weeks ago

RIP Lou.

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+1 Vote up Vote down

Lionx · 810 weeks ago

/salute The guy was a genius and made my childhood.

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+1 Vote up Vote down

Slowpoke · 810 weeks ago

Guys... I have terrible news...
It seems that Elvis has just died recently. *sobs*

Who will you take next cruel fate? Michael Jackson?

Reply

4 replies · active 810 weeks ago

+1 Vote up Vote down

Cronaroth · 810 weeks ago

RIP Lou

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0 Vote up Vote down

AquaLink · 810 weeks ago

The Sovereign will never die. EVER

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0 Vote up Vote down

Vabolo · 810 weeks ago

*insert Ctrl+Alt+Del reference here*

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0 Vote up Vote down

Roflcopter419 · 810 weeks ago

I was directed to you for my ticket to hell, by the way.

Reply

0 Vote up Vote down

Mijo · 810 weeks ago

All the awesome people are dying off in 2009. D:
The question is why & who's next?

Reply

0 Vote up Vote down

Theowninater · 810 weeks ago

Oh Shawn you and your yugioh abridged and your 4chan

Reply

2 replies · active less than 1 minute ago

-1 Vote up Vote down

adhysf · 810 weeks ago

It looks like Halolz submits anything they can get their hands on. This was just in bad taste.

Reply

7 replies · active 810 weeks ago

-1 Vote up Vote down

Dan · 810 weeks ago

So Wolf killed a seventy year old man? I liked this meme better when he was just telling people they can't do various things, not implied murder.

Reply

28 replies · active 810 weeks ago

-5 Vote up Vote down

Runeblade · 810 weeks ago

Bad.

1/5

Reply

2 replies · active 810 weeks ago

-5 Vote up Vote down

bleeker · 810 weeks ago

Points for a Super Mario Bros. Super Show reference, but good god somebody kill Wolf and stop these things. The comma is unnecessary as well. Mario dance aside, still a FAIL.

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4 replies · active 808 weeks ago

-6 Vote up Vote down

Cam · 810 weeks ago

Trying waaaaaay to hard, is there even any attempt at quality control on these Wolf one now?

Reply

2 replies · active 810 weeks ago

Comments by IntenseDebate

171 Comments

Daifuku on October 22nd, 2009 3:46 pm

*Zippospear reforms in hand* Hehehe, You'll have to try harder than that.
Daifuku on October 22nd, 2009 3:49 pm

You know….that one guy…with the face…and the hair…
Badonk on October 22nd, 2009 4:19 pm

Dai why go to the trouble, its just a wolfite.

*yells in the air*
SHOW ME YOUR MOVES!
*rumbling noise*
Badonk on October 22nd, 2009 4:19 pm

no, horses are terrible human beings
MassiveDamage on October 22nd, 2009 4:21 pm

Inb4
Can't let you criticize this submisson, Cam
Daifuku on October 22nd, 2009 4:28 pm

Reporter: Global Warming has taken a suddenly massive spike. The polar ice caps have melted to 25% of their former mass and planet wide flooding has been reported. California has also sunk into the ocean. In the aftermath of this huge natural disaster, we can only ask ourselves: What have we done?

A few hours earlier…
Okay…he asked for it. *charges Zippospear to maximum power and hurls it at Rofl* Ultimate Weapon of Destruction: Wrath of the Zippo Empire!!!
PaladinVance on October 22nd, 2009 4:51 pm

I was told we were fighting men!
Roflcopter419 on October 22nd, 2009 7:44 pm

*Does a barrel roll and dodges*
Roflcopter419 on October 22nd, 2009 7:49 pm

As do I. And you may notice that this post and the 9/11 ones are both by nick soapdish.
Roflcopter419 on October 22nd, 2009 7:50 pm

Just a wolfite?

Good sir, I am wolf's high priest, and you will refer to me as such.
Roflcopter419 on October 22nd, 2009 7:52 pm

Now that would imply murder. The 1933-2009 just shows that he is dead.
Roflcopter419 on October 22nd, 2009 7:54 pm

An anti-wolfite, huh?

Alright, away with you! I SMITE THEE!

*pulls out rat flail and proceeds to beat bleeker mercilessly.
Badonk on October 22nd, 2009 7:57 pm

Mario?
MrRaccoon on October 22nd, 2009 8:02 pm

Man *sob* that's beautiful.
If I could, I would give you a 100 e-peen right now
MrRaccoon on October 22nd, 2009 8:16 pm

Did all comments just dissapeared?!
:O
HACK!
Roflcopter419 on October 22nd, 2009 8:32 pm

I guess ID accidentally our comments.
BurnoutSpartan on October 22nd, 2009 8:33 pm

Thats deep man….
Arch_Evil_Angel on October 22nd, 2009 8:43 pm

My God, this was simply amazing. You, sir, just won the internet.
TheRedGrunt on October 22nd, 2009 9:12 pm

RIP Lou.
Stealthbladez on October 22nd, 2009 9:29 pm

I wonder, if the world ws destroyed, id probably still be stuck on an island, but instead of being in the middle of the ocean, id be in the middle of space.
AquaLink on October 22nd, 2009 9:45 pm

exactly. the dates just show his lifespan, not that wolf killed him
Mijo on October 22nd, 2009 10:29 pm

All the awesome people are dying off in 2009. D:
The question is why & who's next?
VGGeek on October 22nd, 2009 11:11 pm

GAME OVER
Player Name
—L.O.U.—
Insert (1) more coins
codemaster525 on October 22nd, 2009 11:30 pm

…you sir…are epic…
codemaster525 on October 22nd, 2009 11:31 pm

Its not supposed to be a noun.
codemaster525 on October 22nd, 2009 11:32 pm

DONT JINX IT. UMM HE MEANT STEVE JOBS!
Nick Soapdish on October 22nd, 2009 11:33 pm

I made a horrible miscarriage joke to, but that's less remembered.
BoardBreaker93 on October 22nd, 2009 11:47 pm

Dude…A moment of silence for the Great Lou Albano….He will be missed.
Dan on October 23rd, 2009 12:43 am

So then, how is Wolf not letting him dance? The implication is that wolf is responsible for the condition where he can't do the Mario, and that condition is that he is dead.
Exploderizer on October 23rd, 2009 1:09 am

Oh, ja, the Wolf joke…
Roflcopter419 on October 23rd, 2009 3:34 am

At my old school, I had one classmate whose name was James Brown, and I knew him around the time that the singer James Brown died. I mocked him for a few weeks saying "Ha ha, you're dead."
Roflcopter419 on October 23rd, 2009 3:36 am

Actually, I think it shows that Wolf is acknowledging his death and mocking him, not being responsible for it.
Vabolo on October 24th, 2009 11:17 pm

It was even harder during the development process.
Vabolo on October 24th, 2009 11:19 pm

This bong, however…
Vabolo on October 24th, 2009 11:21 pm

*insert Ctrl+Alt+Del reference here*
Vabolo on October 24th, 2009 11:25 pm

Can't let you use that, pain reliever!
Dracojounin7 on November 6th, 2009 4:37 pm

Smash Ball, anyone? Landmasters don't grow on trees when trying to crush infidels!
Daifuku on October 25th, 2009 9:32 am

The N is a lie. No one likes the N.
Dracojounin7 on November 6th, 2009 4:25 pm

And lo, may your moves be blessed.
Dracojounin7 on November 6th, 2009 4:28 pm

And Bill Gates.
Dracojounin7 on November 6th, 2009 4:38 pm

If any video game line fits Lou Albano, this is it:

YOU DESERVE A MEDAL!

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