Saturday, May 10, 2025


and then Moses cried out in a loud voice: “SHOW ME YOUR MOVES”! and the red sea showed moses its moves, alowing the slaves to cross to safety

Lukmuxik offered this follow-up to last week’s Church of Falcon submission! Who knew a huge body of water had such moves?

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Posted by Shawn Handyside on August 14, 2009 · 10:09 PM 
FAILLAMENOT BADPRETTY GOODAWESOME (252 votes, average: 4.14 out of 5)
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Categories:
Bad Grammer, Church of Falcon, F-Zero, Nintendo, Spiritual Enlightenment, Super Smash Bros, The Great Outdoors, Under the Sea

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And Moses made it into the promised land. Then, Moses' people began to start worshiping other brawlers. The Great Falcon wasn't pleased. So then, the Great Almighty Falcon made the slaves stay there for 40 years being traumatized by Lvl 9 Donkey Kongs. And it was good.
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2 replies · active 820 weeks ago
YOU ALL WILL PAY FOR YOUR LOVE OF THE FALCON! JOIN ME! YOU CAN BECOME ALL POWERFUL AND SPAMMY LIKE ME!
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13 replies · active 820 weeks ago
We need to keep the Falcon Book pure and untainted. I propose a falcon enclave to preside over new editions to the word of falcon.

This picture fails to show the true glory of the story, the giant flaming vortex created by a falcon kick...
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53 replies · active 820 weeks ago
Another epic Falcon Bible right there!!!
Hands down!!
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2 replies · active 820 weeks ago
When is somebody going to make a falcon punch energy drink?
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7 replies · active 820 weeks ago
So I don't exactly understand why there isn't a church of falcon tag yet.
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2 replies · active 820 weeks ago
some of you may not agree with me but I also feel isnt a part of the church of falcon's canon so the only reasonable conclusion here is that this is plot by wolf in a fail attempt
to croupt the church with in its own domain
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I gotta say its kinda underwhelming, bad photoshop, writing, and layout. Plz leave the church of falcon stuff to Mr.Raccoon, Badonk and the rest of the pros
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7 replies · active 820 weeks ago
Sorry, but I'm just sideline person in watching this...Can't really say anything bad or anything to add to it.
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The pharaoh, who did not keep his end of the bargain, tried to not let them do that. The almighty Falcon punished him for his betrayal by closing the Red Sea on him and his army once all of Moses' followers had crossed. It came on him like a thousand Falcon Punches. Rumor has it that the pharaoh's last words were "I CAN'T LOSE!"
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Needs moar Falcon
But epic nonetheless (sp?)

But where are my plagues? I need plagues to show the Almighty's fury!
And the pharaon Wolf
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3 replies · active 820 weeks ago
So, would Moses be Falco? I'm not as wise in the ways of the Great Falcon as some on this site are.
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2 replies · active 820 weeks ago
OMFG Finally 69!
Gawd how long have I been waiting for this???
Forgot the date, but I do know that it's time for Luigi 69!
The target: obviously Daisy.
Now, how do I reach Sarasaland again??
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2 replies · active 820 weeks ago
TEH EPICNESS MAKES MY EYES BLEED!!!!!!!!

5/5
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I've come to a known fact about all these Church of Falcon posts.

I laugh= I'm going to go to Hell
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6 replies · active 820 weeks ago
*allowed
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Sinister Minister's avatar

Sinister Minister · 821 weeks ago

Still overdone.

Yaaaaaaaaawn.
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2 replies · active 820 weeks ago
Bad Church of Falcon sub is bad >:I
~*~
FIRST!!!!
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3 replies · active 820 weeks ago

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