Necessity is the mother of invention!
Created by Jaerex, screenshot by ShrdsofGlss
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Posted by Shawn Handyside on April 24, 2009 · 12:05 PM
  (480 votes, average: 4.65 out of 5) Loading ... |
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Categories: F-Zero, FALCON PAAAANCH, Fists of Fury, Growth Spurt, Konami, Metal Gear Solid, Nintendo, Science/Math, Special Attacks, Super Smash Bros, Teamwork, Wii · Leave a comment (85 Comments) |
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Portable Pawnch: For when you have to show your moves on the go!
It was either this or "And so Falcon created man in his own image."
A little "meh".
So hello to my little friend! Mini-Falcon now with iTunes!
Because people can try to stop you from doing that anywhere.
That screenshot is made of win.
Love it. 5'd
And, indeed Jaerex is right: "And so Falcon created man in his own image." lol
It must be held at arm's length to prevent the user burning up in a flame of awesome, as mortals are not meant to wield such a pawnch!
That would make a wicked plasmid for Bioshock 2!
Snake doesn't seem like a good potential investor for this. Personally, I would've gone for DK first. He seems like the most likely to put his money into a novelty item.
Portable Pawnch: Better tha holy water!
Portable Pawnch: Better tha holy water!
Or a holy grenade
A Falcon Punch in your pocket? Wouldn't that result in kind of a castration than a surprise abortion?
Its dangerous to go alone take this *Hands over Mini falcon pawnch*
Congrats, you have won the internet. give it a nickname?
Why hello there! Aren't you a funny little fellow! What was that? Why yes, I'll come closer. *pawnch* AAAUUUGH! MY FACE! HE BROKE MY FACE!!!
Sup dawg, I heard you like Captain Falcon, so we put Captain Falcon in your Captain Falcon so you can pawnch while you pawnch!
I can see this in the nintendo store in NY soon.
GOD DAMNIT! I was just about to send a submission that had this picture in it… oh well, funny anyways.
Hi, Billy Mays here for the Portable Pawnch: the only, contact-free way to to may your foe's day!
Here's how it works. You just pull out the Portable Pawnch, point at your enemy, and it does the rest!
The secret is our patented Micro-Moves technology, which allows the Portable Pawnch to always pack the same amount of wallop every time.
IT EVEN HAS THE POWER TO PUNCH THIS GIANT TRACTOR TRAILER! Now THAT'S the power, of Portable Pawnch!
Use it in the home! The work! The commute! Or even outdoors!
Other products are sold at over $50, but in this special TV offer you can have it for only $14.99: that's more than HALF the price of the others!
Any foe, big or small, Portable Pawnch pwns them all!
But i'm not done yet! Call now, and we'll throw in another Portable Pawnch ABSOLUTELY FREE! Now you can have another Prtable Pawnch to keep in the car or the work.
Portable Pawnch makes a great gift, and comes with a 5-year warranty!
You'll also receive a free and convenient holder, so you can keep track of your Portable Pawnch, where ever you go!
You get the Portable Pawnch, the free Portable Pawnch, and the holder for NOT $50. NOT $25. But $14.99! Only on this special TV offer!
Here's how to order!
sooper dooper epic wiin :D
Lolololololololol.
Say hello to my LITTLE FRIEND!
This is so perfect I can't even describe it further than just saying
YES!
WANT
It's not the size of it.
It's how you use it.
Wow. Austin Powers flashback!
This would be even more awesomely funny if Billy Mays were peddling it.
Now to work on the Portable Pawnch Portable Pawnch, an even smaller Falcon that your mini Falcon can use.
Thus begins the process of making smaller and smaller Falcons until you have ones so small they can literally Falcon Punch Virus' and Bacteria.
Now available, Falcon Kick! (TM), a fluid made up of microscopic Falcons that will Falcon Punch any unwanted molecules! Works for cleaning, fighting colds, abortions, curing Cancer, curing AIDS and curing any disease known to man! (Warning, side effects include nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea and exploding, when taken orally or not)
Just one problem… CAPTAIN FALCON'S MIDDLE NAME IS JAY!!!!!
perfect to punch your foes in the ball….*sneak*falcon PUNCH
I just love Snake's expression. He's jsut slightly leaning forward with a kinda "wha?" expression.
Obviously captain falcon is just showing snake one of his moves.
But this creates a new dilemma… what does the "T" stand for?
Portable peach sucks. She rots in your pocket and attracts toads.
portable pawnch pwns noobs and gives you complete non-toad satisfaction
the T stands for "tactical"
Everything is better when it's portable.
Especially a falcon punch. XD
You know what made this more epic?
1 YEAR WOLF JOKE ANNIVERSARY!
[…] Portable Pawnch TM Halolz Posted by root 1 hour 52 minutes ago (http://www.halolz.com) This is the most win comment i have ever seen on halolz billy mayes should actually do but this creates a new dilemma what does the quot t quot stand for copyright 2007 2009 all rights reserved powered by wordpress login Discuss | Bury | News | Portable Pawnch TM Halolz […]
awesome
that is all i can say
it slices,
it dices
and it paunches t3h shit outta people
for the limited offer of 9.95
I'll call him George! I'll love him and hug him and squeeze him!
Just tell me how much it is, cause I am buying that!!!