Thursday, April 03, 2025


And yet you call me the monster.
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Great, now somehow I feel bad for these damn guys who suicide bomb my house every night.
By Turel

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Posted by Shawn Handyside on August 25, 2011 · 7:08 PM 
FAILLAMENOT BADPRETTY GOODAWESOME (376 votes, average: 4.63 out of 5)
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Categories:
Depressing, Irony, Minecraft, PC, Storytime/Wordplay

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I never looked at it that way. It would appear that I am the true giant, walking dick. I am very sorry and apologize for my behavior. Let's hug it out....

...WAAAAIT A MINUTE
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9 replies · active 709 weeks ago
You devastate our land, gouge our earth and killed my father
Prepare to die
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13 replies · active 709 weeks ago
See, I don't do that whole "ruin a countryside to make shit" thing. Yeah, I explore caves and scrape the minerals off the walls, but the only time I destroy tons of blocks is when I need to escape caves that I've become hopelessly lost in. I've never killed unless I needed to. Hell, I don't tend to destroy the place since the random map generator's a better architect than me.

The zombies are mindless creatures who only want to kill the player, the skeletons are out for blood. Since they can no longer shed their own blood, they seek to shed the blood of others. Spiders are temperamental creatures who'll attack unless the sun is affecting their vision. Creepers, however, seem hell bent on destroying you and anything nearby. Players destroy, but they also create. A creeper is cunning, but it has no precision, no aim as to what it wants to destroy, and so ruins anything nearby when it goes off.

Some people may be cruel bastards, but that's no reason to take it out on the people with little shacks who're just exploring.
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4 replies · active 709 weeks ago
>See new guy just strolling around the giant world doing no harm
>Explode his ass into bits anyway

And in case this is not a powerful enought counter-argument

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8 replies · active 709 weeks ago
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Creeper says:
"We both said a lot of things that you will regret. You monster."
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1 reply · active 709 weeks ago
Wow! I'm so helpful, creating a ecosystem with a bucket of Water! Oh? What's this green critter? Come here little fella... don't be shy...

Hsssssssssss.....

No need to be hostile, buddy. Here, let's be friends.

*BOOM*

And from that day, I hated creepers.
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...Yes. A one-room cave I dug out with my bear hands as I fought off you guys until I could build a boat and sail off is a monument to my vanity.

My single-room, 5x4, bed-furnace-craft table-chest-made-from-a-tree-I-planted vanity.
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4 replies · active 709 weeks ago
Damn hippie creepers! I'm going to call Saxton Hale on your ass!
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Man, creeper memes sure are exploding on the internet!
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2 replies · active 709 weeks ago
That creeper's a spy. I did not see any text making a hissing sound.
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I'm surprised that I haven't seen a PhilosoCreeper meme pop up yet, honestly.
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1 reply · active 709 weeks ago
As if. Creepers are 100% trying to kill a species that's below a viable population already. Yeah, that's pretty monstrous.
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Someone needs to do a Minecraft PSA parody with a crying creeper in reference to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_R-FZsysQNw
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Last I checked, my simple houses did WAAAAY les than their little exploding protes-*BOOM*
...IGNORE MY SILLY HUMAN WORDS! I AM A TERRIBLE HOLE MAKER! I AM NOT A GREEN BOMB PERSON!
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But when I hollow out a cave, doesn't that technically give you a much larger place to spawn, Mr. Creeper? And think of all the zombies and skeletons and spiders that love those dark holes, and-

SSSSSSSSSssssss...

Okay! You're right! I'm a horrible human being!
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SPELLING HAMMER!

monuments*
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*A-hem*

Arrow + Face = No More Guilt Trips

That is all.
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Wow... I never really thought about it that way... Here I am, setting off vast fields of TNT. I'm ruining an ecosystem here!... BUT AT LEAST I'M HAPPY!!! Oh, and creeper, you are, and will ALWAYS be, a MONSTER. a HATED MONSTER that picks on EVERYONE.

(Somewhat) Sincerely, someone who kicks hippies^^
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"I'm different."
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HA! To suggest that we can live in harmony with these ticking phallic symbols is sheer nonsense! Why, these, these.. things are a nuisance! They show up on our doorstep unannounced, complimenting on the appearance of our material goods with an air of aristocracy! They destroy everything from whatever depths of the netherworld they crawl out of, then hobble over to our domiciles just as we are settling down and eliminate our diamond supplies. The sooner they are eliminated, the better. It's a question of player survival.
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Who would've thought the end of beta would mean the secondary attack. Allow me to demonstrate:
"That's a wonderful everything you have there. It'd be a shame if I were to bitch about it but unlike other hippies I actually do something about it. BOOM MOTHER FUCKER!!!"
The dreaded guilt-splosion! coming soon.
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Hey, little green suicide bomber bastard. Listen up. It’s not like I had wished to be in this world after all. Actually I wish I could be sitting on my balcony right now sipping a cool beer.

All I can remember is that I woke up some morning on some blocky beach seeing my fucking distorted blocky face reflection in the rectangular sea. Now I have to arrange myself in this weird-ass, huge world of yours that looks like it was flushed straight outta big baby’s Lego box.

In fact, I’m efficient and polite. I only form this world to have a corner to live in and take as few as possible from it. Just what takes to keeps my humble self alive and defend from you and your arrow-spamming, squeaking, moaning buddies that interrupt my sleep and try to turn me into an ugly fleshy pincushion.

In all those months spent there I learned some stuff. I built tools and machinery so it doesn’t take fucking ages to push dirt and break stone. I forged shears to gather some less bloody wool from bleating sheep than by knocking them unconscious. Oh, and a fine sword to slay any creepy being who dares to approach at night and wake me up.

So stay the fuck away from my tiny wooden hut if you don’t want an arrow to your head from this motherfucking bow I made from some bitchin’ spiders’ guts that pissed me off last night.

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At least I have a purpose for destroying the land. How does it feel, ruining my monuments, my very reason for existing, just because I want a hug?
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Player: Aww... Okay Mr. Creeper, come on in, maybe we can compromise on something
Creeper: SSSSSSssssssure
Player: hey why'd you so much emphasis on the "S" there?....
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i remember a lower quality picture where the background was completely black and the text was red or is that something else?
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OK creepers. I'll just make a tiny-bunker in the single player if YOU wont blow my up when I try to construct an obsidian-skyscraper-with-lines-of-glowstone-on-it-to-make-it-look-like-something-out-of-Tron on the multiplayer. Deal?
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You blow up innocent creatures. Your existence is purely based on destroying someone you don't even know. You kill others, sacrificing your own life. And you complain that we call you a monster?
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Y'know, the ability to negotiate with and/or tame creepers would actually be pretty freakin' awesome.

GO FORTH AND DESTROY, MY EXPLODING MINIONS
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If creepers want to stop us from mutilating the landscape, they should think up a better way than mutilating the f**king landscape.
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Isn't monument spelled with an 'N'?
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I don't know about you but I replant my trees.
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You know why creepers are bent on destroying us humans.
Answer 1.we pretty much annoy them by:placing dirt monument(which used to be some dicks house)
2:they actually cause less damage to the enviroment(look at this way we kill creeper to make TNT)
3:WE FRIGGIN KILL EVERY THING(no offense)
4:Minerals we just pillage these stuff in order to survive.but for what?we can always respawn again and again
5:look at you wooden,gold,iron etc. house(or monument) that you left there for nearly a loooooong time.we always switch our houses and make them bigger.FOR WHAT!?you can just survive with a small 5x5 shack.I do that all the time.if its too small you can make it a little bigger(say 8x8).if you make a mansion AND THEN MOVE.would you leave it there?most people say yes.
6:im actually thankful for griefers even though they destroy monuments and houses and other crap.they pretty mush help creeper save the enviroment.
7:whats the first thing you need to survive?WOOD.how do you get wood?By breaking trees.you break them and plant them back thats what YOU say...you see if you had no wood you would die.if you did have wood you would continiously get wood for projects like making a Wodden pirate ship or something like that.so no wood=no humans.
Final:ITS A FU*$IN GAME.NO PRO ENEMIES=NO FUN!
ps.none of the statements from me ABOVE the final statement is true pls dont reply and thank you :D
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1 reply · active 702 weeks ago
don't look at me like that creeper! I'm not the one that explodes!
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I'm surprised that I haven't seen a PhilosoCreeper meme pop up yet, honestly.
I agree ...ideal.
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UMAD? LOLOLOL
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What the hell's up with the comments? IT'S NOT THE SAME.
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Wafflecopter's avatar

Wafflecopter · 674 weeks ago

we are not the only ones creeper, you gouge the land with your explosiveness. but still, all apologies to the Minecraft Planet
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