Friday, May 09, 2025


YOU CHOOSE CHARMANDER, MY GRANDSON CHOOSES SQUIRTLE... BULBASAUR STAYS ON MY DESK FOREVER

Being one of the three starter Pokemon seems awesome, unless you’re the one that isn’t picked. Then you’re FOREVER ALONE…
By Bob McPhee

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Posted by Shawn Handyside on November 3, 2010 · 2:12 PM 
FAILLAMENOT BADPRETTY GOODAWESOME (264 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5)
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Categories:
Advice Meme, Depressing, Nintendo, Pokémon

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Saur face
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8 replies · active 756 weeks ago
He's still saur about it even to this day.
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2 replies · active 757 weeks ago
I'm Ash Ketchum, and I am here to ask you a question?
Is a man not entitled to the Pokemon he catches?
No, says Professor Oak, it belongs to research!
No, says the man in Rock Hideout, it belongs to us!
No, says the squirtle in Kanto, it belongs to the wild!
I rejected those ideas. I chose something new. I chose the impossible. I choose you, Pikachu!
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3 replies · active 757 weeks ago
Wow, this has provoked intense philosophical thoughts for me.

What happens to the starter you don't choose?

I mean of course the Pokeball stays on the table or in the sack or wherever you got it from.

But what happens to the POKEMON?

This obviously depends on what happens to a Pokemon when it is encapsulated in its Pokeball. If it remains in a modified state then it is likely still conscious, maybe even relaxing in its round abode. But what if it's not? What if the Pokeball mechanism converts the Pokemon's entity in terms of raw energy? Then for all intents and purposes... The starter you don't choose is dead. It will never return to its physical form, and be among its colleagues and rivals. Knowing this makes it extremely difficult for me to choose any of the three starters; not because I want one over the other, but because I fear the fate of the unwanted Pokemon.

It's like encasing Han Solo in carbonite: Yes he is visibly still there, but really IS he? He doesn't know where he is. He doesn't know what's going on around him. He can't do anything about what's being done to him. We can still plainly see him on Jabba's palace wall, but his existence is questionable. We only know he is still alive when Princess Leia frees him. But as for Bulbasaur, there IS NO PRINCESS LEIA.

I'm also quite reminded of Schrodinger's Cat, for some reason. When you pick your starter, you are told what Pokemon is in each Pokeball, and then you make your pick. The one you pick is the cat that you free from the box to find it still alive! But there is still one cat left. No one will open his box. When you beat the Elite Four and go back to Oak's lab to get your National Pokedex or whatever plot ticket it might be, you see that the BOX IS STILL UNOPENED. At this point, you can't be sure if the cat in it is alive or dead! Except instead of a cat, it's a Bulbasaur! You could have been Bulbasaur's liberating angel but noooo, you wanted the fire lizard instead. Does Bulbasaur resent you for that? Can it even still have its own thoughts? That is a terrifying thought for me.
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22 replies · active 756 weeks ago


Is it really a question why no one loves it?
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7 replies · active 757 weeks ago
Well, at least Professor Oak has some company when he's burning the midnight oil at the PokeLab. Alone. With a Bulbasaur. And its throbbing bud. And seeds. And tentacles. Vine whip.....
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Yep, Bulbasaur never gets picked. Big deal, he's stuck in a comfy Pokeball.

Meanwhile, if you choose Gym Leader as a profession, you're forever stranded with an unlimited supply of badges, forever handing them out to ten year olds better than you, and will probably make something out of themselves.
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9 replies · active 757 weeks ago
Well I guess Bulbasaur will be

*sunglasses*

Green with envy

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!
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"First off...are you a boy or girl?"
"Boy."
"...here have a dragon."
"And you?"
"...Its me gramps. Your grandson?"
"Oh...here have the one that has dual cannons jutting out of its shell and is the complete weakness of the one I just gave the other trainer."
"...." *Pokes bulbasaur pokeball* "One day we'll get a female trainer for you."
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5 replies · active 757 weeks ago
Actually, through a glitch, you can fight Oak. One of his pokemon is the final form of whatever didn't get picked.
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5 replies · active 757 weeks ago
inb4Femaletrainerandtentacles
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8 replies · active 757 weeks ago
Then Pokémon Yellow comes along, and oh surprise, there's just only one pokéball in the desk. And it has Eevee.

What happened to that Bulbasaur pokéball, doc Oak? What happened? Did it went ot a faraway happy place? Did it become part of your experiments?

Only time will tell.
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5 replies · active 757 weeks ago
And this is why I like to pretend it's the Pokemon Special canon where the third one was taken by Green.
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30 replies · active 757 weeks ago
I found it in SoulSilver. He gave it to an NPC.

Why? Because he's an Oak. A motherfucking Oak (who came as fast as he could).
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1 reply · active 757 weeks ago
and to this very day, the only place that eevee exists is on a man's desk at the very top of the celedon mansion. but dont worry, he will just let you steal it.
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What did Bulbasaur ever do to you???
You people can be so mean!!!
...You know what, I'm gonna choose Bulbasaur as a starter and then we'll see whose laughing!!!
*chooses Bulbasaur*
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4 replies · active 757 weeks ago
Dosen't Oak keep the last one and raise it? Or Green/Blue gets it? Or something?
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2 replies · active 757 weeks ago
Or maybe it's replaced with an empty pokeball, and Bulbasaur is forced to work for Oak forever!
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And now I have come to the realization - oak must be really numb in the head. He forgets about his rare Pokemon straight on his desk, and hires 10 year olds to go on a life threatening journey for research. ALL while standing at the same spot for 3 years.

good gravy, he's dumber than Patrick.
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2 replies · active 756 weeks ago
Bulbasaur:OH FOREVER YOUNG, I WANNA BE FOREVER YOUNG
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3 replies · active 757 weeks ago
I always thought Oak used it. :'(
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http://fc02.deviantart.net/fs14/f/2007/089/9/d/Bu...
This is why we can't have nice things! (I know my caption sucks)

Edit: I can't seem to 'post' the picture. I know it has something to do with the html <img> thing but I can't get it to work. Halp!
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