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5 Career Alternatives That would have made Mario’s life much easier.

So really when it comes down to it… ANYTHING besides plumbing would have made things easier!
By Caldy and GamerPaper

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5 Career Alternatives That would have made Mario’s life much easier.

Posted by Shawn Handyside on December 6, 2009 · 9:27 AM

FAIL

LAME

NOT BAD

PRETTY GOOD

AWESOME

(558 votes, average: 4.76 out of 5)

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Categories:
Aerial Maneuvers, Artistic, Massive Damage, Ninjas, Nintendo, Overkill, Sequential Art, Serious Business, Sneak Attack, Super Mario Bros

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+26 Vote up Vote down

Nick Soapdish 110p · 796 weeks ago

But hey, if he's anything like a real life plumber he must be making a fortune.
Princess gets kidnapped, he charges an emergency call out fee, on top of his regular appearance fee, then a ridiculous high rate per hour. Plus charge for materials, labour (Yoshis) with a healthy margin on top.
Although his reputation as a real plumber is under question due to a lack of visible ass crack.

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13 replies · active 796 weeks ago

+21 Vote up Vote down

Leo E. 114p · 796 weeks ago

Well obviously. Being a Ninja would make everyone's life easier.

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18 replies · active 791 weeks ago

+18 Vote up Vote down

BlueChameleon 92p · 796 weeks ago

Do you remember that Piranha Plant / You pruned in 5-1...

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27 replies · active 793 weeks ago

+16 Vote up Vote down

VyseRogueKing 103p · 796 weeks ago

Actually mario was a carpenter but giant gorillas throwing barrels at him kinda closed off that road

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1 reply · active 796 weeks ago

+16 Vote up Vote down

Zabrio 86p · 796 weeks ago

or he could have been a a chef and made his own cake avoiding this whole thing

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3 replies · active 796 weeks ago

+14 Vote up Vote down

Caelun_Niveus 96p · 796 weeks ago

Why chose one job... Multiclass!!
Pilot-Ninja-Policeman. Just fly what castle has the princess, sneak in, and shoot everyone!

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14 replies · active 796 weeks ago

+13 Vote up Vote down

AreUExperienced 73p · 796 weeks ago

This fellow neglected to mention the most practical alternative: hiring Wolf to prevent Bowser from kidnapping Peach in the first place.

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11 replies · active 777 weeks ago

+13 Vote up Vote down

DClaw 83p · 796 weeks ago

In all fairness, Mario HAS been a pilot. It was during Super Mario Land for the Gameboy.

And wait, can't Bowser breathe fire on Mario? I guess a gun is better and more scarier then being a Mushroom Kingdom warlord eh?

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6 replies · active 777 weeks ago

+12 Vote up Vote down

Leo E. 114p · 796 weeks ago

So here's this giant enemy Piranha Plant...

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5 replies · active 796 weeks ago

+10 Vote up Vote down

Marzen 101p · 796 weeks ago

Look at the cross section of that Goomba... does it just have one bone, going horizontally through it's body? And, like, a log of meat going through the center? ...I must now dedicate my life to studying sentient mushrooms.

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7 replies · active 796 weeks ago

+10 Vote up Vote down

Angry_Sonic 54p · 796 weeks ago

If Mario was a Ninja...He would finally be able to get that damn bloody cake! CAKE!!!

I'm thinking of being a +1 fairy today so im gonna thumb up all comments posted.

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5 replies · active 777 weeks ago

+10 Vote up Vote down

FallenReaper 48p · 796 weeks ago

but he was a carpenter

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25 replies · active 796 weeks ago

+8 Vote up Vote down

EternalLurker 42p · 796 weeks ago

Being a carpenter that can build into the air across gaps, a pilot who can crash into any number of birds without detrimental effects, a landscaper epic enough to dodge Piranha Plants effortlessly while working, a policeman with the license to shoot people in the kneecaps for the hell of it, or, well, a ninja would benefit _anyone_.

Besides, if Mario isn't a plumber, how's he gonna enter pipes? D:

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4 replies · active 796 weeks ago

+8 Vote up Vote down

MrRaccoon 106p · 796 weeks ago

In mushroom kingdom, Bowser breaks the law
In soviet Russia, the law breaks you

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18 replies · active 796 weeks ago

+7 Vote up Vote down

Vabolo 118p · 796 weeks ago

Or he could become the next Jimi Hendrix and melt Bowser's face off with a solo.

MARIO used *Purple* Haze!

It's super psychadelic!

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1 reply · active 796 weeks ago

+7 Vote up Vote down

Tenck 72p · 796 weeks ago

You know you've been hanging around on Halolz too much when the first thing you think of when you see this is adding on Spy and Demoman as possible professions...

also, in that last frame, I caught myself thinking "This WILL be the last time you see me"
lolthatgoombaisadeadringerspy

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1 reply · active 796 weeks ago

+7 Vote up Vote down

Minilandstan 43p · 796 weeks ago

Why couldn't mario be a ninja? A fireball throwing ninja!

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2 replies · active 796 weeks ago

+7 Vote up Vote down

DClaw 83p · 796 weeks ago

I bet when mario bacame a Carpenter and built that bridge, the first thing that came to his mind was:

....WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THIS SOONER!?

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7 replies · active 796 weeks ago

+6 Vote up Vote down

febreeze 23p · 796 weeks ago

so true so true

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+6 Vote up Vote down

Pate-Tico 76p · 796 weeks ago

What does the Princess Peach look like?

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5 replies · active 796 weeks ago

+6 Vote up Vote down

Pate-Tico 76p · 796 weeks ago

Only five? o_o
How about the "Cirque du Soleil artist" career? :l
How about olympic champion? :l

How about "professional hamburger taster" :l

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3 replies · active 796 weeks ago

+6 Vote up Vote down

deleted2661867 79p · 796 weeks ago

What about being a Pirate-Ninja? The princess would never get kidnapped, because Mario would be too awesome!

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8 replies · active 796 weeks ago

+6 Vote up Vote down

Exploderizer 80p · 796 weeks ago

Human canonball coulda worked just as well. He did that just fine In the New Super Mario Bros.

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3 replies · active 796 weeks ago

+5 Vote up Vote down

Dycro 105p · 796 weeks ago

So would the least useful career for him be a Professional Lemming?

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+5 Vote up Vote down

FoxyMayo 89p · 796 weeks ago

Y'know, I think if Mario was a pimp he could keep his bitch (ie: Peach) in line. Or Peach could actually invest some time in some self-defense training and common sense, that way Mario ain't gotta do SHIT.

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+5 Vote up Vote down

Fmarulz 79p · 796 weeks ago

This still makes me wonder why the princess would choose a plumber from who knows where the hell he came from... from any other man in the mushroom kingdom.
Seriously peach is a whore

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+5 Vote up Vote down

Sir_McCloud 47p · 796 weeks ago

Now that I think of it... @ the carpenter job: Why the hell are there so many gaps? It's obvious that the Mushroom Kingdom Govt doesn't give a damn about the security of its citizens, much less the security of the hero that saves their ass every time.

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+5 Vote up Vote down

Pate-Tico 76p · 796 weeks ago

WAAH! B-B-BUT I WANNA BE MOWIO! T_T

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5 replies · active 796 weeks ago

+5 Vote up Vote down

CodePhoenix525 90p · 796 weeks ago

Hey, he could have been a test subject in Apeture Labs

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6 replies · active 796 weeks ago

+4 Vote up Vote down

MyApologies 47p · 795 weeks ago

your forgetting about the fact that if he wasn't a plumber he would have never stumbled upon the mushroom kingdom through the pipe one day and never entered the mushroom kingdom.

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+4 Vote up Vote down

JboneDRS 70p · 796 weeks ago

But then he wouldn't know what to do with the pipes, and we wouldn't have are precious shortcut to world 5

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+4 Vote up Vote down

Simply DA 100p · 796 weeks ago

(stupid post engine switch, deleted my post)

Wasn't Mario already a Carpenter? I mean, he became a plumber in the original Mario Bros. and then he became a plumber forever! What.

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+4 Vote up Vote down

Jet_Sparrow 82p · 796 weeks ago

So soon after "Ode To Minions"? Tut tut tut, so very tactless.

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+3 Vote up Vote down

dapaperboy 60p · 783 weeks ago

waaaaaaaaaait a sec. is that a pit in the center of the goomba? that means goombas are fruits. OM NOM NOM NOM NOM

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1 reply · active 777 weeks ago

+3 Vote up Vote down

Darkangelsv1 · 796 weeks ago

Wasn't Mario already a Carpenter to begin with, THEN became a pblumber in the original Mario Bros.?

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+2 Vote up Vote down

MasterLuigi452 108p · 796 weeks ago

What???
No Racer???

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+1 Vote up Vote down

luigi 11792 44p · 776 weeks ago

mama mia!this is good!

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Comments by IntenseDebate