Saturday, March 15, 2025


Things That Solve Problems vs. Success Rate of Said Things

Shit. We should have elected Captain Falcon!
Submitted by Zoe Thavel and The Owninator

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Posted by Shawn Handyside on January 23, 2009 · 2:34 PM 
FAILLAMENOT BADPRETTY GOODAWESOME (270 votes, average: 4.57 out of 5)
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Categories:
Charts & Graphs, F-Zero, FALCON PAAAANCH, Nintendo, Science/Math, Serious Business, Super Smash Bros

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Falcon for president
Falcon punch for teenage pregnancy
Falcon knee for cancer
Shows you his moves to take down terrorists.

Oh I say...
YES!
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Dude, was I the only person who voted for Captain Falcon?
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Falcon Punch saved me from depression!
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Runeblade's avatar

Runeblade · 841 weeks ago

We should have elected Captain Falcon indeed.

His inaugural address:

"YES!"
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1 reply · active 841 weeks ago
I bet all of you can hear Dr. Phil asking, "Do you realize that this is a problem?" in your minds.

Go on. Take a second and reflect. Yeah, I thought so... Sorry Doc, but this problem of not caring about you is one we're all gonna just have to accept.
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I think Captain Falcon is a pretty cool guy. eh terminates teen pregnancies and doesn't afraid of anything.
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2 replies · active 841 weeks ago
SoggyWafflz's avatar

SoggyWafflz · 842 weeks ago

I dunno, i cant agree with this graph. Violence does solve some problems lol.
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3 replies · active 841 weeks ago
'YES!' solves 110% of problems.
Thats because it solves ones that don't exist yet.
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captain Falcon for the rule of the world
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I think that Jerry Springer can just as easily replace Dr. Phil on that list.
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Dude! Falcon for president! Just imagine the campaign trail! It would be full of the bodies of everyone who ran against him.
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2 replies · active 841 weeks ago
DeathCubeK2112's avatar

DeathCubeK2112 · 831 weeks ago

shoulda used the landmaster....
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2 replies · active 831 weeks ago
Dude! Falcon for president! Just imagine the campaign trail! It would be full of the bodies of everyone who ran against him.
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captain Falcon for the rule of the world
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Haha! Though I have no evidence to support this claim I actually made this graph. I'm surprised to see it here on Haloz.
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I used falcon punch to heal my friends teeth! It was super efective :D
Thank you falcon punch!

*Excess in the use of this product may cause diarrea and the end of the world*
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(Anonymous)'s avatar

(Anonymous) · 841 weeks ago

I think F-Zero is a pretty cool guy. eh punches prengant girls and doesnt afraid of anything.
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any one notice that this was taken from graph jam
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Lold
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Nice post but would have made more sense for it to be a bar graph. Oh well, still funny.
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So a Falcon Punch can solve how to stop those damn cats who keep on coming into my yard and pooping all over the lawn and not get in trouble with the PETA?
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1 reply · active 841 weeks ago
Spherical Combat's avatar

Spherical Combat · 841 weeks ago

lets be honest here, mates... violence has a higher sucess rate than 0, cmon
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3 replies · active 841 weeks ago
dudemanawesome's avatar

dudemanawesome · 841 weeks ago

I don't think anyone noticed...
If Dr. Phil Falcon Punches, he gets about a 35% chance of success! At Succeeding!
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capt falcon sucks's avatar

capt falcon sucks · 841 weeks ago

capt falcon doesnt abort teenage pregnencys that was link
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My new motto will be: "When in doubt, use FALCON PAAAAAAAAAAAAWNCH!"
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And hammers? Hammers solve everything!
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2 replies · active 841 weeks ago
They forgot to add Guns and More Guns to the equation. :(
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CAPTAIN FALCON IS SO FUCKING BADASS THAT WHEN HE RUNS YOU OVER, HE LEAVES GODDAMN TIRE TREADS EVEN THOUGH HIS FUCKING CAR HAS NO FUCKING TIRES
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2 replies · active 841 weeks ago
Aww man I should have voted for Captain Falcon during the election... why vote for some black guy who's never done anything significant (No, congress doesn't count, not signifiicant :P) when I could have voted for a real man! He's been a captain of the military, he can drive way better than any female (I'm looking at you Hilary) and best of all, he doesn't need anything new, he doesn't need change, he just needs a falcon PAUNCH and America is fixed.
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This site needs a little more originality.
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Graph fail, needs to have Engineers. :P

Just kidding, though having Engineers on there would make this perfect. 4/5.
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reporter: Mister Falcon, what are your views on teenage pregnancy
Cpt. Falcon: FALCON PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWNCH
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doc ock rokc's avatar

doc ock rokc · 841 weeks ago

The chart is in a Check mark..
YES!
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I Got This On My iPhone From My ICanHazCheezburger App. :P I Luvs It.
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bar graph dat shit
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1 reply · active 841 weeks ago
I have to say, even though Capt. Falcon IS gay...
(Seriously don't even argue with me on this one...The guy wears a SKINTIGHT SUIT and you can SEE his NIPPLES.)
He's pretty awesome and can Falcon Punch the shit out of anyone who says otherwise.
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10 replies · active 808 weeks ago
garethcool's avatar

garethcool · 842 weeks ago

@ MexicanJuice
of course it would! That and all the enemy FZero racers.

as captain falcon says...

YES!
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y is every1 obsessed with capt falcon hes gay!
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7 replies · active 841 weeks ago

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